Emotional NudityHeadlinersSista Speak

15 Things Every Young Woman Should Know

If the title of this post looks familiar that is because it is the sister to a post written by fellow BLF Blogger BigRich (15 Things Every Young Man Should Know).  It never dawned on me to write a companion post until I was sitting at the gas pump collecting my thoughts and there I saw it…a beautiful young lady digging her ‘booty shawts’ out of her butt.  It took everything in me not to yell out of my window and say “Stop it!! And burn those DAMN shorts!”  Then a sadness fell over me as I started to think of all the ways I watch young women these days defile themselves.   So here are a few things I think I must say before my doggone head explodes.

Here’s some words of advice for young ladies ages 15-25 (also may apply to those a bit older)

1. Booty shorts are NOT cute.  Walking around with shorts that cut up your butt and crotch is not the ‘bizness’.  Men will certainly flock to you, but they won’t respect you. Please, burn every pair of booty shorts you own…TODAY!

2. Rhianna and Beyonce’ are NOT role models they are entertainers.  Which means they get paid to sell the idea of sex…YOU DON’T!  Understand that in many cases the way an entertainer behaves on stage is completely opposite of how they live in real life.  So before you decide to follow in their footsteps, understand that Bee’s behavior onstage is NOT what got Jigga to “Put a Ring On It”.

3. Here’s a secret, respectable men LOVE respectable women.  So if you want to be respected: dress, behave and carry yourself respectably.  That means: No booty shorts, bustiers, low rise jeans, ta-ta’s hanging out, glass heel hooker shoes, tight clothes or pretty much anything that you have seen on a BET or MTV music video.

4. Acting like a boy will not attract a man.  Embrace your femininity, it has untapped power.  Get out of the sneakers and gym clothes, especially when you are not IN the gym.

5. Bumping and grinding is NOT dancing.  Its giving him free access to your sacred vessel (your body).  Access that the man has not earned nor has the right to.  If you want to see REAL dancing check out a Michael Jackson video.

6. You’re NEVER too old to be a virgin.  No matter what your boyfriend or friends say.  Virginity is sacred and pure, it should be guarded as a sacred jewel.

7. Money is NOT the most important thing a man can give you.  It is his heart, his honesty, his dedication, his protection and his care.  All that will far out last money.

8. Respecting adults is the first sign that you respect yourself.  That means how you treat your parents, teachers and other adults are all a reflection of how you view yourself.

9. YOU are beautiful! Don’t allow the standards of the outside world dictate how you feel about yourself inside.  God doesn’t make mistakes and you are perfect in his eyes.  Once you believe that, you will be the most beautiful woman in the land.

10. Abuse is never acceptable.  That means physical, emotional, verbal, and neglect….any action that makes you feel less valuable than you are.  Love DOESN’T hurt.

11. No one OWES you anything. It is important to work hard in life and appreciate the things that come easily to you.  You are not entitled to anything other than your birth.

12. Other women are NOT the enemy.  Embrace your sisters!  Backstabbing, disloyal conduct will leave you cold and alone.

13. Everyone is NOT your friend.  Friends are not just takers, they are givers, supporters and nurturers.  Evaluate your friendships often, and act accordingly.

14. Your name is LOVE, not biatch, hoe or trick.  You should be called something lovely or else simply stick with the name on your birth certificate.

15. Giving yourself names like thickness, bootylicious, and dyme piece is the best way to give a man permission to de-value you.  If all you think you have to offer a man is your body in some cute package or name, then that is ALL he will ever take from you.

The end!



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The Harsh Realities of a Grown Azz Man (pt.3)

Jai Stone

Jai Stone

Jai Stone, is often referred to as the Emotional Nudist. A phrase that defines her brand of authentic living. With nearly 20 years in the marketing industry Jai has become a well respected social media expert and is also the founder of the Black Love Forum Movement.


  1. August 29, 2011 at 9:58 AM


  2. September 2, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    Thanks a bunch @Mairo. Since you are raising girls, I’m sure you share my sentiments.

  3. September 13, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    I love this piece. It is exactly whatI have been telling my daughter and her friends. Expressing how they should always carry themselves, as well as what they shall expect in return from others.I plan to pass it aong to each one of them and continue to encourage them to keep up the great work they have been doing as far as molding their aptitudes.Thank you for the reassurance of upholding and uplifting our young ladies.

  4. September 14, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    Quida, I’m elated that you find such wisdom in my words that you would share with your child and her friends. I’m pleased to have such an effect on our youth.

  5. Antoinette S.
    December 19, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    I absolutely love this article. I wish this were a billboard in every city, what a difference it could make in the lives of young women. I mentor girls ages 11 to 14 and I want them to grow up respectable and self-assured young women. They are beautiful inside and out because they are made in the image of God!