Sista SpeakWhat The Love

What Your Friends Won’t Tell You, But I Will: 4 Reasons Why You Are Single

1. You’re too “picky.”

Unfortunately, this may be code for being shallow or having low self-esteem.  Picky people often want someone who makes their stock go up.  I am not talking about having standards, I am talking about the type of narcissism that Marcus had in the movie Boomerang (remember the “pretty feet” conversation).  Translation: You want a trophy.

In the end, if you’re too picky to see a good man or a good woman.  You are missing out on something wonderful, and hence that may be the very reason that you are still single.

P.S.  Most trophies are shiny on the outside and hollow on the inside…MESSAGE!

2. You don’t act like you want anyone.

This reason is for the people with the permanent scowls on their faces—or their hearts. Everywhere they go, people ask them if they are mad or upset, or the people that they date always say how mean they are.

While this may be your, err…their, usual face, it’s really not attractive.  Being mean is not attractive (usually).  If you’re looking and or acting “mean,” then it’s possibly a turn-off.

In fact, you might be the sweetest person ever under that scowl and that mean exterior, so this is your “defense mechanism.”  But realize that most people are not out to get you, so consider looking pleasant, and being nice.

Could change things…for the better.

3. Your friends haven’t told you…but you have issues.

If you’re still single and can handle the responses, ask your friends for their opinions.  Myself and my friends recently did this to one another.  We were willing to ask the question, and accept the answer…can you?

If you’ve been single more than 5 years of your adult life, you probably have numerous habits in your life that work for you, but may not work for a potential significant other.

Okay, just so we’re clear, here’s a short list of habits:

If you:

  • Treat people as they are children—mother them, if you will.
  • If you are selfish—this means that you lack consideration for other people.
  • If you are stubborn—this means you want your way…period.
  • If you speak to people as if you own them…

…then these are habits that could keep you single.

If you suspect that this is you, then that’s okay.  You can always break a habit (I heard it takes 21 days to do so).

Now, there may be someone who actually likes these behaviors, but as you date, enter into relationships, and even have  little offspring, it will become important that you consider others, and learn to speak in a reasonable and rational tone (at least sometimes).

4. You claim that you’ve given up on finding someone.

I hear this one a lot, and usually it’s not the truth.

The only reason that you may have given up is because of the last  person you dated.  They were unqualified to be your significant other, and made that clear within weeks or months of your first meeting. It happens…

Despite the fact that these individuals weren’t “the one,” they are no reason to give up.

There is someone (in fact, probably more than one someone) who is ready to appreciate and love you for all the things that you are—including some of those things in Reason Three—and they have been just as frustrated as you are, but they are still searching for you.

So, you keep looking and hoping for them.

In the end, we’re all worthy of true love and lifelong happiness…so, make sure you get yours!

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Stephanie D. McKenzie (MBA, CPC, CRC)

Stephanie D. McKenzie (MBA, CPC, CRC)

Stephanie McKenzie is the founder of WhatTheLove™ which offers energetic, entertaining, and educational individual and group coaching programs. These programs are designed to remove the power and pain of bad relationships in your life.