I recently had the pleasure of meeting a scorned man…lucky me right? It was very little pleasure in this encounter, but it did however make me think, “ Are scorned men worst than a heartbroken woman?”
A little background…I met him at a party of an ex boyfriend, which we’ll revisit in another post. He was well groomed and well spoken… nice catch huh? Not hardly…in our first few conversations, he , confidently mind you, tells me how many women he is currently dating. Initially I thought, “Wow! He’s really honest!” But when this same admission kept coming up again and again, sometimes without even being the topic at hand, I began to wonder “What was he REALLY trying to prove?”
So being the analytical person I am, I dug into his mental a little deeper… I asked when his last relationship was… and after the short response of “she moved out in October”, I followed up with “Did she hurt you?”. His response “I don’t want to talk about it.” So now I KNEW, he was scorned man!
We all know the symptoms of a scorned woman:
- Trust issues
- 365/24/7 attitude problem
- The “all men are dogs” rant at the very sight of anyone with a male genitalia.
However, all these can be cured if the right guy with A LOT, (and I do mean A LOT) of patience comes along. But a scorned man or man-whore (whichever is more suitable) has no cure. Either he will be a player for the rest of his life OR he will never treat any woman with the level of respect he once gave to “her”. He won’t allow another one to get that close to his heart. That’s not saying that he will never be in another relationship or that he is a bad guy, but he just refuses to give his all again.
SO with that being said…here is a general guide to spotting those wounded soldiers out in the battlefield of love:
- The Man-Whore: This guys’ behavior speaks for itself. As we get up in age, and have focus on bigger things such as careers and/or kids, etc. A man having multiple women in his corner only means one thing… he’s scorned. The man-whore feels no need to have a substantial relationship because all women suck (figuratively not literally… well never-mind).
- The Non-commiter: Ever had an ex-boyfriend call you months, or even sometimes years later and he confesses that you are the best thing that ever happen to him? And in your mind you can’t help but wonder ” Sooooo why the hell aren’t we together?”. You’ve met the non-commiter! He will date you and court you, BUT will never go that extra step because the relationship has already failed before it started.
- The Scared-Guy: He will date you but never commit. He is scared to ever give his all again. The difference between him and the non-committer is… he will eventually have a relationship again; however, he will most likely settle for the “safe girl”. She is usually less attractive, more submissive, and more loyal than the beauty that once broke his heart.
- The Secretive-Guy: “Dang you ask a lot of questions”, is this guy only defense against normal commonly asked questions. He so scared to give a woman any information about his past or feelings because she will only use it to hurt him. So he says. It will take a high powered cat scan to get into this scorned man head.
- The Bromantic: Last but CERTAINTLY not least! If the guy would rather hang with his friends than be with you, he’s just not that into you or he doesn’t want to spend too much time with you. OR he likes you, but he is scared, secretive, a non-commiter, AND he enjoys being a man- whore! Hey..it’s possible!
See anything familiar? If so…RUN as fast as you can! Because he is SCORNED MAN with a capital scarlet letter “S”!…unless you like a good challenge.