Why Must ALL Relationship Advice Be Directed At Women??
In September of last year I did a vlog entitled “Having An Opinion, Doesn’t Make You A Relationship Expert” and it was met with a luke-warm reception. Especially from a few of the folks that took it personally. I felt like I was a lone voice wanting to hold men equally accountable for our relationship troubles. I felt men also needed advice, accountability and counseling. This whole relationship game started to turn into a very deep pool of chauvinistic advisers willing to prey on damaged women looking for love.
Moreover any used-to-be player with a laptop was cashing in on blogging and books to sell his ideas to the grateful masses masses of women willing to pay for advice. But I’m really, really thankful that I’ve found other voices that want to hold men equally accountable and challenge the standards of relationship advisers.
Janelle Harris from Essence.com says:
“No guy can single-handedly interpret the thoughts, actions and intentions of all male-kind, not even the most macho, testosterone-attuned mandroid. Everyone—yes, every man—is entitled to have a clear vision about what they’re looking for in a life mate. But while they’re developing this seemingly ever-growing checklist of qualifications that is supposed to make a woman wife material, who is preparing these brothers to be husbands?”
Very profound Janelle!! Read the rest of her post here.
And brotha Slim Jackson from Single Black Male chimed in too:
“Ever since Steve Harvey put out his book, men have been clamoring for the greenbacks by capitalizing on the singledom of women who don’t know any better. And of course when I say men, I don’t mean all men. But there are enough out there attempting to take over the relationship game by spewing the random thoughts they’ve compiled in their basements, that it makes me wanna attempt field goals with kittens.”
My sentiments EXACTLY Slim! Read his entire post here.
If you think its just a Black problem, think again. Cameron Smith detailed one of the most disturbing situations that I have seen yet. The irresponsible and predatory book It’s Her Fault offers relationship advice and is written by a high school coach for a girls sports team. The fact that the book offers sexually explicit advice to teenage girls is enough to make me want to hang my foot in the author’s a$$, but then it also happens to be sexist and at times racist. If you have the stomach for the disgusting details, you can read a complete article by Cameron Smith here.
I think the rising of these voices in numbers are the signal that its time to change our thinking, our standards and our approach to finding healthy love. Who’s with me? I would love to hear from you, so leave a comment reach out to me on Twitter at @JaiStone. Just remember… Emotional Nudity is Required.