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Beauty + Booty = BONKERS!

DISCLAIMER: Some content in this article may be offensive or inflammatory.  So let me start by saying, I’m far from being jealous or a hater, I’m simply writing my honest opinion.  I will also take the position that this is not a blanket synopsis, however I do believe that generally my theory is true.

Let me break down this theory that I felt the need to defend before I even stated.  It is thus:

Beauty + Booty = BONKERS!  – To break it down, people who are considered beautiful or fine by most standards are often just as loony as..well a loon.

They are the highly desired, most sought after specimen of all humanity and they know this.  Somehow this ‘knowing’ seems to drive them insane.  Just to clarify this equation further, I’m going to break this down like simple 4th grade math.  Here we go!

Beauty /Booty: Defined

For the purposes of this article, beauty = very attractive and booty = great body.  Both sentiments apply to men and women.  Yall know I had to have a catchy title (tee hee hee).  However, the point is people with astonishing looks and drop dead bodies are often handled the same.

“Beauty is in they eye of the beholder’ (not sure of the exact quote), but anyhoo…we have been spoon fed this nonsense for years.  TRUTH: Everyone knows a beautiful person when we see them.  I mean I really think we will be hard pressed to find a person on this planet that DOESN’T think Halle Berry is beautiful.  And I don’t think you will find anyone to vote NO, if I say Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is fine as wine.   So its safe to say, when it comes to beauty most of us just know it when we see it.  And beautiful folks get treated differently in life, usually from a very early age.  They are told by their kindergarten teachers, their relatives and the kids in the neighborhood all want to be their friends.  I’ve never known an UN-popular beautiful person.  The world gets to be their oyster in many cases.  And by the time puberty hits and the booty kicks in, we all know who gets asked to the prom.  That is the UP side to the beauty/booty equation.

Thandie Newton/ Beloved

Here is the down side.  Gorgeous people are often used for their looks or their bodies.  You know they are used as arm ornaments or eye candy.  Their other qualities are often discounted. Many times they are used, abused and cast aside.  They long to be valued for their character and integrity.  But most folks never get that far with them.

So fine folk end up feeling one of two ways.

  1. The world revolves around me, and anyone that doesn’t like it, too bad.
  2. I am not good enough, I just want to be loved. Please, please, please just love me.

Bonkers: Defined

The bootylicious hopelessly beautiful folks are used to using their looks as their currency of trade.  When it comes to relationships, they EXPECT to be catered to, are usually selfish and self centered, spoiled, inflexible and in many cases they are manipulators and users.  Their view of the world is often so skewed because things have been handed to them.  They don’t usually value relationships because they always feel there is another train coming after while.

Or the behavior becomes one of allowing abuse, shame and hurt and feeling they don’t deserve better treatment.  They have such low self worth and value, that they simply settle for whatever treatment comes with the label of being loved.

Both behaviors are simply bonkers.  And many times they result in some serious social or emotional handicaps that prevent the beauties from having healthy relationships.

There are some exceptions the BONKERS theory:
  • The swan: If you were an ugly duckling and developed beauty/ booty later in life, after the character traits were already strong.
  • The Dove: If you look like a dove but were taught from a young age that your dovely looks were of little value or only PART of the equation.
  • The Eagle: You have been enlightened in life and have come to value lofty things. You fly high above the superficial attraction and search for a spiritual connection.
Now rest assured that some ‘average’ looking folks are bonkers too and some beautiful fine folks are perfectly sane.  But if you go to sleep next to a Thandie Newton and wake up with BELOVED, then you will know I speak the truth.  So far, my theory seems to be proven true more often than not, but I would love to hear your feedback.
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Jai Stone

Jai Stone

Jai Stone, is often referred to as the Emotional Nudist. A phrase that defines her brand of authentic living. With nearly 20 years in the marketing industry Jai has become a well respected social media expert and is also the founder of the Black Love Forum Movement.


  1. August 26, 2011 at 12:10 AM

    I think you make some great points, Jai. I’ve run across a few people that were just how you described. Some were so use to getting their way that they became almost like toddlers when they weren’t catered to.

    And then I’ve met some that had such low self-esteem that everything they did was to grab attention, or praise.

    I’m looking for a swanoveagle!

  2. August 26, 2011 at 8:24 AM

    Thanks for the feedback J.B. ‘swanoveagle’….love it!!