Communication

Bees STILL Prefer Honey Over Vinegar…

My mother is literally the “mother of all clichés.” Whenever she wanted to teach me a lesson, she would pull from her “old sayings” bank and make a deposit into my life.  No matter what it was, every message was taught around a cliché. “You can catch more bees with honey than you can with vinegar” was used when she was trying to teach me how maintaining a sweet demeanor was far better than a sour one. Back then, I simply rolled my eyes and sighed during our re-created Cosby Show episodes. But today, I realize that my mother was and still is a woman of wisdom.

As a wife, this same cliché plays on repeat whenever I’m in the process of selecting the words that I want to use with my husband. I spend quite some time on this subject because words can create or destroy our relationships. A simple word can add fuel to a fire or extinguish its burning flames. Even a proverb from the Good Book says how “pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” If we are to maintain healthy relationships, we have to add more pleasant words to our vocabulary bank.

Every time we speak, we’re either making a deposit into our man’s life or overdrawing his account. When we use sharp words, like a bee sting, they penetrate the skin. It’s usually a sign that we are trying to protect or defend an area that should be openly discussed. But instead of drawing your man closer, you’re swatting him away with the impact of your words. I’m guilty. I can admit that my words were once bitter. They came from a deep dark place of discontentment, frustration, and unhappiness. I was unable to effectively communicate my feelings to my mate, and therefore caused an increase in these unwanted traits. It wasn’t until I began to pay close attention to my words that I was able to see a change in the way we buzzed.

Ladies, take time to evaluate what words you use to express yourself in the name of love. And ask, what have I said lately to sweeten up my honey?

 

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Lakia Brandenburg

Lakia Brandenburg

Lakia is an accomplished writer and educator with a heart for love and relationships. She's written for Gospel Today and has freelanced for top national magazines such as Upscale. Creating a happily ever after story to be your reality.