Sherry had been married for three years and had one child. Her husband was a hard working, dedicated and compassionate man. Initially, Sherry thought she had everything she needed in a man, and she was right, until she later experienced difficulty with him connecting with her at a deeper level. She did her best to justify his actions by repeating things she had learned about men, like, “men can’t express emotions, men don’t like to talk, or a man can never understand a woman’s emotions.” Then one day she noticed her response when her husband attempted to comfort her by offering her help. She noticed how she began to shut down, allowing him to only go so far. Eventually, it lead to an argument and the help he offered her became the hell they had to live with. This brought the couple to marriage counseling and here’s what they learned.
1. Sherry had been hurt before. Her heart was broken and she had the hardest time giving her deepest “self” away in her marriage.
2. You can give your head away without giving your heart. Just because Sherry said “I do” at the ceremony, didn’t mean she did, because she kept her heart and only gave her husband her head. Three years of marriage was pushing her to release her heart, but it was too broken to give.
3. Trust has to do with giving something away, not just depending on someone. In relationships, you can say you trust someone you love, but you can never really know you do unless you give them your heart.
4. The heart is the hardest thing to give away in a relationship. It is easier to give your body away than it is to give your heart away. That’s why many couples can have sex and still feel so disconnected.
5. Marriage will draw deep things out of you that you never knew were there, and if your heart is broken marriage will make it known.
6. You can’t last long in a healthy marriage with a broken heart. You have to deal with your bleeding heart or you will damage the very thing you want to salvage, your marriage.
7. If you don’t take care of your broken heart, your partner’s heart will begin to bleed as well and then things began to get extremely dark and difficult.
8. There is an answer to the question, “How can you mend a broken heart,” and it’s not in a new relationship. Broken hearts are mended by the people the heart belongs to and until that’s done, you will be bleeding in every relationship you find yourself in.
9. It is always hard to trust when your heart is broken.
10.You can’t get to the love you want until you can give your entire heart away. Broken hearts are difficult to give away.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Leroy Scott is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and a Professional Counselor (LPC). In addition he is the host of 360 Life Talk Radio Show and author of Unbreaking The Heart. Visit Leroy’s website or follow him on Twitter at @Scott_Leroy.