There is a first time for everything…
He was chocolaty, 28, no kids, well groomed, an engineer for a Fortune 500 company, spiritual, AND funny with a Master’s from Cornell University. Everything was cool…until he dropped THIS bomb:
“Do you do lines?”
My face is contorted now.
“ Lines?” “ What you mean… white girl lines?”
He laughs…I don’t because I’m still waiting for him to answer.
“Yes!…white girl lines.”
At that point I wanted to just get up and exit stage left, but I didn’t drive, and I usually do on first dates for instances such as these…you know… for a quick escape.
“So let me get this straight…you’re rubbing your nose the entire night NOT because of your allergies, but because you snort cocaine?”
He bypassed the question, and we waited for the check in silence….geez these guys keep me with material!
I guess I would be discouraged beyond belief if I was dating under some kind of imaginary time frame, like most men and women(i.e. biological clocks, desperation, pressure from family, etc.), and my posts would probably look something like…
“I am getting so frustrated! …All the men in Atlanta are either gay, married, or coke heads!”
But in actuality, all this is more comical to me than anything. I can probably attribute that to the fact that I’m not really hung up on finding and securing a man. (<<<SB: Because ladies, he’s supposed to find you…) But if he happens to come and sweep me off my feet, then so be it!
I’m only able to date like this now because I was single and NOT ready to mingle for an entire year. Yes, an entire year. No man, going through droughts months at a time, changed my number, being ok with being by myself , just basically finding out how I was wired if that makes sense. Some people would refer to it as “Going through it”… I call it soul searching.
And I believe that it is a MUST before you begin to seek out your other half, otherwise you’re just inflicting your issues on some poor, unsuspecting soul who thought you had your –ish together. Now they find out after dating you for a while that you have abandonment issues, low self esteem, communication issues, verbally/physically abusive, or you’re just a plain, old jerk that doesn’t deserve anyone.
But because of that year of soul searching, I’m secure in who I am now. I know what I will and I what I won’t put up with. Yes, ol’ boy had a nice car, nice smile, five figure income, no kids, and sexy in more ways than one, but I am not, I repeat, I am not about to stress myself out with trying to get this man “clean” because of those things…especially if he doesn’t want to be.
I can be selective in my process of whom I allow into my world and my heart…you can to BUT if you’re a walking, talking open wound, you might as well be sprinkling salt on it by thinking a man/woman is going to heal you.
So I say all that to say, if you haven’t sat down and done a REAL, true- to- yourself evaluation, you might want to visit Mr. Mike Flanders over at Baggage Claims first before you begin your dating quests.