Dating During Divorce – What Are the Rules?
Lots of divorces get filed in January each year. The unhappy couples tough it out during the holidays, just so they (a) aren’t alone, or (b) don’t have to put up with all of the drama from friends and family. But, now that you have filed for divorce, what are the rules for dating?
The Master’s Rule Number One: You shouldn’t date ANYONE during the divorce. You are still technically and lawfully married, and if you are dating, that’s technically cheating on your spouse. Grow up. You can wait until the divorce is final.
Rule #2: You are one big raw nerve right now. It is entirely unfair of you to bring your drama into the life of another person. Dating another person during your divorce proceedings is 100% selfish on your part. It also shows the person you would like to be dating (or ARE dating) that you would do the same to her if she got involved with you.
Rule #3. Divorces are power games, and usually the person with the best lawyer wins. If you are dating during your divorce, the other side will find out easily. That puts a black mark on your chart. Don’t load the gun, so to speak, and place that infidelity gun in the other attorney’s hands. It could cost you more in alimony and child support…thousands more.
Rule #4: Your mind and heart need time to heal. You need to reestablish your personal identity, and wring all of the old bitterness out of yourself. My personal opinion is that you should not date anyone for at least one year after the divorce is final, and you should wait at least two years before considering marriage again.
Rule #5: Are you a parent getting a divorce? Your divorce is screwing up your children’s lives enough already. Spare them the heartache of your parade of new women…new “mommies”…through their lives. Also, NEVER have a woman stay the night in your home if you have children in your home. You figure out why.
Rule #6: If you are dating a lady during your divorce, that means that your chosen honey has no moral qualms about dating a married man. That also means that she’d do it again even if she was in a relationship with you. Is that the quality of woman you are seeking?
As I said in Number One: Grow up. You are supposed to be able to exhibit some self control at this point in your life. Placing your own needs on hold for a few months can pay benefits to you long-term, as well as shield you from ethical fall-out during your divorce proceedings. Don’t be a moron, only driven by your sexual desires. Be a man and do the right thing.
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Copyright 2009 by Russell D. Longcore
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