Let’s face it! As much as many of us constantly complain about the availability of worthwhile candidates interested in serious, long-term relationships; we’re still very fortunate, especially, living in Westernized countries. Within non-western cultures, the freedom to choose who one marries, let alone dates, may not be solely up to the individual. Many cultures are not very flexible in this regard and still adhere to well established customs and traditions that are centuries old. Keeping this in mind, not having enjoyable dates may be more related to an individual’s “over the top” expectations rather than not finding potential candidates.
Furthermore, the dynamics related to an individual’s top priorities will change with age. For the most part, when people are in their early to mid twenties, they tend to have more flexibility because they’re usually single with a minimum of family and career related responsibilities. However, as time passes, responsibilities in these areas will usually increase due to the birth of children, marriage, divorce, aging parents and job/career related changes.
During the 1980’s, New Age spirituality promoted the concept of “soul mates”. Theoretically, if one actually believes in reincarnation, a soul mate is a person who possesses a strong “past life” or “psychic” connection to another. In essence, the interactions between these two people seem somewhat uplifting and supportive on many levels which are what most people want within any relationship they wish to be long lasting. However, this concept isn’t new and has some interesting twists from culture to culture. For example, within Judaism, a bashert is considered to be the woman a man is predestined before his birth to marry. This match is considered to be rather ideal in nature and blessed by heaven.
As endearing as finding “the one” who totally complements or “fulfills your dreams” seems to be, it can also be a hindrance to finding fulfilling relationships. In many respects, it may tempt a person to develop a somewhat “lop-sided” perspective regarding relationships. The focus may be primarily based upon one person doing the “heavy lifting” in a relationship when the burdens should be shouldered equally. Furthermore, a person with such expectations may not be taking full responsibility for their own happiness by placing that burden solely upon the outcome of what someone else does or doesn’t do.
The focus of “Down to Earth Dating” is not to encourage people to “kick their dreams to the curb” or “throw their standards out the window”. Frankly, I encourage everyone to “feel people out” with their intuition and “good ole common sense”. Appearances can be deceiving. There are just too many sociopaths of both sexes who intentionally “play” sincere people, left and right, hoping they will ignore that “nagging feeling when something isn’t right”. It’s always much better to be “safe than sorry”! When in doubt, I encourage people to “safely” investigate their hunches and/or distance themselves from people they just don’t feel comfortable around. Rather the goal is to offer creative, fun suggestions to “simplify” many of the hassles involved in dating. In addition to proposing suggestions, I’m also open to accepting them from my readers. All of us aren’t at the same places in our lives and promoting an “open” forum to give and receive feedback is invaluable. Enjoy!!!
This is a guest post written by Gail E. Cooper of Sister Selah’s Survival Guide.