Money MattersRelationship Challenges

Financial Role Reversal: 7 Steps To Make the Power Shift Work!

Do you still buy into the old aged belief that the man should be the head of the household? What exactly does this mean in this day and time? Does it mean that the man should make more money than his female counterpart? Or does it simply mean that regardless of income, the man should have the final say about the household decision?

We now live in a time where a great deal of women make more than their male partners. So should they get to have the Final say? Many would probably agree that sometimes there can be a subconscious belief that if you are the one that brings in the most money, then you are the one that carries the most control. This, however, should not necessarily be the case. The problem with this belief is that oftentimes it’s not balanced or fair and the belief can create tension and strain in the relationship.

There are some that are accepting of this set up, whereas others are not. Some women strongly believe that the man should always be the primary breadwinner. When this is not the case, oftentimes, these women can become resentful toward their men and begin to loose and show respect if they feel as though they are not bringing in more. Some men believe the same thing and when the roles are reversed feel incomplete or insecure. Some women want to make as much if not more than their male partners and some men feel that their women should bring in as much income if not more than them.

Where do you fit in and how is it working for you and your relationship? If you are in a relationship where you are not in agreement with the financial roles, how do you make it work? Below are six steps to moving your relationship into more financial harmony.

  1. Learn to share your beliefs and where they come from with your partner. Determine commonalities in your belief system and try to negotiate from there.
  2. Try to put money out of the equation when it comes to determining the shift in power in the home.
  3. Come to an agreement on how you want to make important decisions? Who should have the final say? Should you both have to agree in order to implement decisions in the home?
  4. Remember to always Respect your partner regardless of where they stand financially. You can communicate how you feel in a respectful way.
  5. Find a healthy way to balance responsibilities in the home that you both can agree on. There should not be any gender rules here.
  6. Be open to change. Incomes can fluctuate over the years and should not alter your happiness with each other as long as you focus on what is important to the relationship.
  7. Try to remember that one’s income does not determine their worth.

At the end of the day, the important thing is that you both are happy and focused on your common goals in the relationship.  Couples that learn to find value not only in money, but in other areas such as friendship, co-parenting, sharing household responsibilities and affection generally feel more balanced in their relationship.

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Nikiya Spence

Nikiya Spence

Nikiya Spence, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Certified Money Coach with over eleven years of clinical experience. Nikiya has been debt free and living a money conscious lifestyle for several years. She received training with the Money Coaching Institute and specializes in helping individuals and couples transform their relationship, habits, and behavior with money to increase their wealth.