Grey Divorces – Is It Really Too Late
” Yes it’s over, the kids are gone, what’s the use trying to hang on…”
Those are just a few of the lyrics to the 1978 hit by Denise Williams and Johnny Mathis “Too Much Too Little Too Late”. Those words are being said/song by many today. Grey divorces are on the rise and those involved think the only choice they have is to divorce. Is the statement “Too much too little too late” true? But just how did they get here? The one word answer to that question is NEGLECT!
But why don’t they know each other after 30 years?
The consensus of those that have been interviewed about why they are divorcing after 30 plus years of marriage, they common saying is “we just don’t know each other.” Couples fall into the regimen of kids, work, church, sleep! Did you read anything about quality time? Nope, that is the first thing that goes once “life takes over.” Neglecting each other as a couple puts you on separate paths that meet up in divorce court.
It’s Never Too Late
Working is a necessity and there is no way around that. Being a parent to the kids is a MUST and there is no way around that; however, it’s never too late to decide it’s time to love your spouse and rebuild the foundation. So just how can two people stretch more time out of a 24 hour period?
- Time Management: utilize the time you do have. Shower together, eat breakfast and dinner together (and actually talk). If possible, car pool to work. The ride to and from work will give you the perfect time to talk, bond, and have some alone time.
- Dedicate a day & time for dating
- Think outside the box: You may need to include technology into your quality time. If your schedules are opposite of each other, video chat on lunch breaks.
- Priorities: Remember your kids are second to your husband. They will leave home and you don’t want to be in the Grey Divorces statistic; so bond and learn your spouse now.
- By Any Means Necessary: this should be your motto when planning quality time with your spouse
You must start building on your marital foundation NOW waiting until the kids are gone is too much too little too late. Remember what you make a priority and habit will be hard to break. So make quality time with your spouse a habit!