His Babies’ Mamas….
Well ya’ll, I finally met him…Mr. Right. He loves God, family, and me. He loves me for who I am-good and bad. He is sociable and gets along with others. He is employed with wonderful benefits. He has wonderful problem solving skills. He is down to earth and he wants and demonstrates his desire for exclusivity in our relationship. He doesn’t play games. He expresses his feelings in words and actions. He loves me and has made it clear that he wants a mate not a playmate. He loves my kids and they relate very well. I love him and his kids and we relate well. Our sexual intimacy is HOTT! There is one thing that causes me to pause—-his babies’ mamas. Yes–plural, mamas. He has kids by 2 different women. Each bring their own drama.
The oldest child is 16 and her mom and my man were married but divorced 7 years ago. The other child is 4 and they were never married. Nevertheless, my man is an active and involved father and those women seem to “stick it to him” at every opportunity by going to court to increase child support if they see him with something new; denying his visitation and trying to keep him in the dark about the children’s’ activities. Throughout all of this, my man remains vigilant in his fatherly duties and accepts what he can get with visitation and contact with his kids. He is there for them and their every need. I really admire him for this. At the same time, I have heard some of the comments made by these women relative to my involvement with the children. Their statements: “She aint her mother…”, “ I don’t want her around my baby”, “She thinks she is something….” are all unnecessary and unwarranted since I want the best for their kids as well as mine. The statements upset me and initially caused me to question if I could remain with this man.
But in the words of Jennifer Hudson, “I aint going”. There are too many positives in my relationship with my man and his children to allow “baby mama drama” to scare me away. I have a strategy to deal with this dilemma. 1. I will continue to love his children with same passion I love my own. 2. I will meet and greet his children’s mothers with pleasant words and gestures. 3. I will maintain open communication with my man about any concerns and welcome his input and problem solving. 4. I will control what is in my domain–my home, my family, my relationship, and remain prayerful. If I follow my strategy, I am certain my loving relationship/marriage will prevail and not fall victim to babies’ mamas” drama.