So you’re ready to spice up your sex life and you’re not quite sure how to talk with your lover about including sex toys into your sex play? Sex toys can definitely break the monotony of the same old boring sex by adding flavor and excitement. However, introducing this third party to your partner and getting them to agree to incorporate them into your sex play can be a tricky task but yet a very rewarding treat!
Creating the union between your lover and your sex toy requires a very delicate balance between preserving your lover’s ego and meeting your needs. You must choose your words wisely; one slip of the wrong word can result in certain disaster. You must make sure that your lover does not see the sex toy as his or her replacement but rather as an additional vehicle to ecstasy and fulfillment for both of you.
Become a Sexpert on sex toys! Educate yourself on all the ins and outs of sex toys. You may want to pick up a copy of Sex Toys 101 by Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah. It’s a playful, uninhibited easy read with vivid imagery. Be sure to highlight all the benefits of incorporating sex toys into your sex play i.e. increase orgasmic intensity, variety, extra stimulation, etc.. You also may consider reading the book with your lover. Also attending an adult novelty party like those that are sponsored by Pure Romance can be educational, fun and sexy as well.
Choose an appropriate time to have THE conversation. This conversation must definitely take place before engaging in any sex play. Never try to surprise your lover with a sex toy during the act, as this may ruin the mood and you may find yourself in a very awkward position and/or the middle of a heated disagreement; literally and figuratively. Find out your lover’s concerns regarding sex toys. Acknowledge and validate their feelings by assuring them that a sex toy can never replace the human bonding, intimacy and touch. In addition, sharing your sexual fantasies helps to build intimacy between you and your lover. It is also helps to keep love alive!
Take a trip to an adult novelty store together. Turn the experience into an intimate journey into bliss. Look, touch and try the display models in the store. This can actually help build anticipation and excitement for what’s to come or cum. Encourage your lover to select a toy that can be used on him or her and one that can be used on you. If you or your lover is a novice user, you may want to start with something basic. Read my article on How to choose a sex toy before going to the store, as this may help to alleviate some anxiety.
Enjoy! Incorporating sex toys can open up a whole new and intriguing world. It can also help to breathe life into an otherwise dulling sex life