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How to Survive the (failed) Grocery Store Hookup

Oh, look at him, my mind uncontrollably echoed.

I focused to see what my subconscious had nudged me about. What I saw was a gentleman who was about 5’7” or 8” inches tall and he was approaching from the dairy section with a smile on his face as he glanced at two of my children. He had a gray beard, tan cap and he was nicely (and maturely!) dressed. Surely, I thought, he was in my age range and he seemed friendly.

He was talking to himself as he shopped. Since he had stopped his food perusing right near me, I figured I should be polite. Say something. Inconspicuously flirt a little. Surely he was interested and was standing nearby and talking to garner a response.

“You talk to yourself while shopping, huh?” Okay, that was lame, but at least I said something.

“Yea, all the time,” he said, “we all do it sometimes.”

“Yes, you’re right. I just don’t let anyone hear me.” Insert cute, grinny giggle here topped off with direct eye contact.

He didn’t turn his head. And was that a dismissive half chuckle I heard?

I turned toward my overloaded, kid-friendly shopping cart and corralled one stray kid. Then I sorta glanced down at what I was wearing thinking maybe I look too young. Maybe the kids in tow turned him off. Maybe he just wasn’t interested or not looking. He could have not wanted to engage or already be in a relationship. Deep breath. “Don’t make this a negative about me,” my rational side said.

Okay, I think as I strut on and just as my thoughts were turning toward my purchases I glance up and what do I see? The same handsome gentleman checking out and chatting up a gorgeous dark-skinned, long-legged, plump booty sistah whose hour-glass figure was finely accentuated by fitted jeans and a sweater cinched at the waist. Mister Talk-To-Himself was smiling, chatting and making eye contact. Since he approached her from behind, I am assuming he engaged her to get his flirt on. The truth is I can’t say for certain; I’m just relying on my brief interaction with him.

I rolled into the checkout line and spotted him in the 15 items or less line (rolled my eyes at my bulging cart) and watched as he quietly completed his transaction. No longer smiling, talking or flirting. In my mind, that solidified the “something is wrong with me” mentality. But before the thought could fester, I told myself, “Wait a minute, you look fine today in your fitted red jeans, red and white tank under a white, short-sleeved shirt and wedge heels.” (Wait, it sounds like I looked like a candy cane!) An-t-way, I thought I was looking good.

I finished paying for my groceries and switched out of the store cutely (so I thought), trotted to my van with the girls happily running along when suddenly I spied my reflection in the window. “Oh my God, look at my hair!” Seriously, I stopped, mouth open, eyes blank with shock. My hair looked a hot, flyin’ away mess.

So much for confidence and cuteness while going back to my natural ways, uh, roots. Well that explains everything – at least enough for me. Here’s what I realize and what you should remember:

  1. Don’t take it personally. Maybe he wasn’t interested, maybe it was the hair. Whatever it was, tell yourself: Who cares. And repeat ‘til it sinks in.
  2. Don’t compare yourself. That sistah was beautiful and so am I. My hair doesn’t have to be long, straight or fake; someone will love me just the way I am.
  3. Leave the children at home. Had they not been with me and made me crazy then maybe I would have remembered to check my hair!
  4. Have a sense of humor.

 

 

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