Ask The Married FolksSingle Life & Dating

I’m KEEPING My Cookies Until Marriage!

Dear Young Black Married Man:
My issue is good & bad… I’m actively out dating, but refuse to have sex until I’m married. It’s just the principal that I was raised on & I don’t just want to give my cookies to every little boy that comes along. I think that is the good part. The bad part is I can’t find & keep a faithful man. Usually when I tell men I’m waiting, they think I’m joking & can’t wrap their little heads around it. Last time I thought I found the one willing to wait, but discovered her was getting his cookies from someone else:( What to do? I don’t want to compromise my values!

Dear Reader:
Oh this is an easy one, just go get an ugly guy! He will stay faithful & do whatever you say:) JOKING, please don’t compromise your values. Any man that doesn’t understand or respect you for it, doesn’t have your best interest at heart anyway & isn’t worth keeping.

1st stop trying to find this perfect man. The bible says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22)
So keep praying on it and wait for him to find you. Now when you pray, be specific. Just don’t say bring me a man. Tell God what you want your man to be like & include that part about understanding you respecting your cookies.

Next, make sure you don’t tease the men. If you say you want to wait don’t go to 3rd base & then say ok stop… we can’t take it to home plate! That’s just wrong & yes your man may get upset about that.

Lastly, I still believe there is a mate out there for everyone. Sometimes it just takes longer for you all to meet. Regardless if you were giving it up or not, if the guy’s a cheater he’s a cheater, just be happy you found out. At some point you’ll just have to just trust that the right guy will come along. But while you wait stay true to you & don’t have sex until you’re married. My wife always used to say, “my momma told me, why buy the cow if the milk is free.” Ok, maybe not the best analogy, but you get the point. Holding back will make the “right guy” want to chase you even more. He’ll say wow this girl is really special, not like the others who just throw in at me. #1 she must really have some good cookies:) & #2 I have to get to know her more b/c she’s a keeper!
Don’t give up hope or your cookies & stay in prayer.

Be Blessed

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Mr. Shannon Lanier

Mr. Shannon Lanier

Energetic. Personable. Spiritually grounded. Inspiring. These are just some of the words that describe Emmy Award-winning multimedia journalist Shannon Antonio Lanier.