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I’m In Love With TWO Women….HELP!!

When it comes to relationships, there is no shortage of questions or answers.  BLF Blogger and professional journalist Mr. Shannon Lanier puts his skills to the test with his column ‘Ask a Young Black Married Man’.

Dear Shannon, what did I get myself into? Simple story, I fell in love w/ 2 different ladies at the same time. Now, I haven’t said we were exclusive or anything, but both relationships are getting serious. However I don’t want to let either go and I don’t want to hurt them either. What should I do?????

Dear Reader,

Well, I guess congratulations is in order… Some people can’t find one person to love & it looks like you found 2. But if you’re not smart about it, you could end up with ZERO!

The solution is simple, you’ve either got to pick which woman you want to get more serious with or be upfront & tell them both that you’re still seeing other people. Now, I know you said you didn’t tell the women you were exclusive, but did you ever tell them you were not exclusive?

Sometimes two people can read a relationship two different ways. If you never indicated you’re not exclusive then both ladies may think you’re exclusive  just based on the amount of time you spend together & the fact that you’re growing more serious. Emotions can be a sensitive place and you don’t want to come off like a cheating dog.

Maybe start by making a pros & cons list on what you love & hate about each woman. Think of everything from their ability to make u laugh to their halitosis:( keep it real, b/c this could be your future mate! Once that’s done, say a prayer & pick the woman you want to get closer to. Oh, please make sure she’s serious about you too. Just have that conversation about taking your relationship to the next level.

Good Luck!


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Mr. Shannon Lanier

Mr. Shannon Lanier

Energetic. Personable. Spiritually grounded. Inspiring. These are just some of the words that describe Emmy Award-winning multimedia journalist Shannon Antonio Lanier.

1 Comment

  1. D
    October 5, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    I am having this issue. It’s a little easier for me. The second girl, she considers me a brother. I couldn’t break her trust, because I love her.