Ask The Married FolksSingle Life & Dating

Is 150k Too Much To Ask?

When it comes to relationships, there is no shortage of questions or answers.  BLF Blogger and professional journalist Mr. Shannon Lanier puts his skills to the test with his column ‘Ask a Young Black Married Man’.

“When looking for Mr. Right, is it wrong of me to have a very strict requirement list. You know… he must be at least 6.5, w/ a full head of black hair, super model handsome, a job making over 150,000, & a desire to always live in New York City, to name a few. I don’t want to settle for less.”

Dear BLF Reader,

Well, you sort of have the right idea. Yes, you’re a queen & deserve the best. You should have everything you want. The problem is some people focus so much on their list they miss out on the overall better man b/c they didn’t meet one of their requirements.

I think the best thing to do is to recreate your list & take a serious look at everything on it. Decide which attributes you’re unwilling to budge on. Those are the must haves, like… he must have a clean record w/ no jail time, or he must respect women.

Then decide on what you’ll compromise on,like… he may not be 6.5, but he’s ok as long as he’s not shorter than you, or he may not have six pack abs, but he’s going to the gym to improve.

Most importantly when dealing w/ list, try not to only focus on the superficial. Instead focus on the things that matter like their ethics, morals & belief systems. Because while they may not have any teeth, if they’re a great person they can always get dentures:)

Seriously though, at some point looks fade & if looks are your only focus, you could end up married to a used to look good idiot that you can’t stand or carry on a conversation with.

Good luck finding Mr. Right!


Previous post

Should I Call Off My Wedding?

Next post

What is this really all about? (pt 1)

Mr. Shannon Lanier

Mr. Shannon Lanier

Energetic. Personable. Spiritually grounded. Inspiring. These are just some of the words that describe Emmy Award-winning multimedia journalist Shannon Antonio Lanier.

1 Comment

  1. Mairo
    July 26, 2011 at 11:45 PM

    I like the feedback. Too many of my girlfriends are still single because of their darn list. You hit the nail on the head with separating the must haves from the compromise.