5 Ways I Kept My Man Happy While Planning Our Wedding
“Ok ok, found the perfect cake, oh wait did I make the deposit on the photographer, yes Mom took care of that last week. Ok, let me email the ladies about their dress fitting this week; hopefully everyone shows up and leaves the drama home! Oh I can’t forget to put my leave slip in and pick up the decorations from Michael’s…uugh so much to do, so much to take care of…why does it feel like I’m missing something? Oh shoot…I’m so busy taking care of everything else I forgot to take care of my man!”
Ahh, that idyllic event, the one you’ve been fantasizing about since you were a little girl; from the outside looking in all you could see was the beautiful outcome of your dream wedding…now here comes reality, wedding planning! Out of all of the challenges that come with preparing for your big day such as budgeting, decision making and getting down to that perfect size, believe it or not keeping your man happy during this crazy time will be one of the biggest challenges…and one you can’t afford to lose! Gratefully, there are ways to keep him happy and avoid a relationship meltdown while preparing for your special day…
1. Discussing boundaries: Some brides-to-be get so wrapped up in the concept of having “The fairytale wedding” that they forget all about their reality bank account! My husband and I knew what we were working with so we aimed for that; allowing others to dictate how much you should spend and or budget for your wedding is a no no. Giving advice is always good, but you should still consult your husband-to-be before making any final decisions. Consulting him will instill a sense of confidence and assure him that you are in it together.
2. Know when to take breaks: Every day cannot consist of wedding planning! No matter how much more planning you have to do, never risk losing the main joy in which made you want to be married in the first place. Taking breaks is very important. At times my husband and I would just slip away from it all and hang out; even If it’s something simple like going to the movies or a quite restaurant, the point of the matter is that it’s just the two of you. (During this time there should be NO discussions about wedding planning, this is time for you to appreciate the man you are going to be with for the rest of your life) The wedding is simply an event, your marriage is a lifetime bond; let him know he ALWAYS comes first no matter how intense the planning gets!
3. Encourage alone time…For HIM: Let’s face it, women indulge in wedding planning a lot more than men and at the end of the day everything revolves solely around the brides wants, so why not encourage some “him time”? No, that doesn’t mean shoo him away or make him feel as if he’s a burden; suggest he take some alone time simply because he deserves it. My husband and his groomsmen would schedule an outing once a month just to hang out and get away from it all. (This time is also beneficial for you as well)
4. Smooth merging: If you’ve seen the movie “Jumping the Broom”, then you know it’s not always easy merging families. If your groom-to-be is very family oriented then you may have to pep talk yourself a few times and put on your warm & welcoming face. For instance, my husband had family come stay with us from out of town for our wedding; yes we were packed in that small space but that one sacrifice in exchange for his happiness was priceless. Beneficially our families were already familiar with each other but we still made every effort to include both sides in the planning as much as possible.
5. Let Him In: Now, not all husbands-to-be want to be involved in the nicks and crannies of wedding planning, but surprisingly mine did. All of the weddings I’ve experienced included the bride doing all of the planning with her family & or the groom’s family, so you can imagine the bitter sweet feeling I got when my husband-to-be expressed his eagerness to help. Initially the selfish side of me screamed, “Go away, this is my time, my wedding, I’m the Bride!” but after seeing how much it meant to him my compassionate side kicked in full force. From that moment on he was involved in every aspect of the planning; cake tasting, color coordinating, bridal registry, shoot he even helped pick out the perfect font for the wedding programs. I will say letting him in was honestly the best way to keep him happy.
With all the ins and outs of wedding planning it can definitely take a toll on you, but it doesn’t have to take a toll on your relationship!