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Learn From Your Elders

Recently I read a wonderful story about how a married couple came to be together.  Both the husband and wife were refreshingly very open in telling me how they ended up as a couple.  During the course of the husband telling his version I asked him if his wife was either raised by older parents or spent a lot of time around her grandparents. He was amazed that anyone would be able to pull that tidbit out and she had in fact been raised by parents that had her when they were almost 40.  Then he and another participant asked me to expound on why I asked and how I could figure it out.  I felt that this matter was so important that I would bring it to you all as well.

My opinion is based on pure observational facts. Men and women who are raised by older parents or who spend a lot of time around older grandparents tend to be mature and approach matters in a totally different manner than those raised by younger parents.  For the purposes of this article, I will narrow my thoughts down to how relationships and dating are approached by the children of older parents.

  • Women who are raised by older mothers or grandparents know how to approach a man from an angle that leaves his dignity intact, caters to his ego and still manages to keep her finer womanhood.  She does not get caught up in modern day dating practices because she has seen how well the old school methods worked.
  • Men who are raised by older fathers and grandparents tend to actually know how to do something with their hands and understand the concept of family from a more realistic position. These men learned early in life that you have to be working to be successful and you need to have multiple streams of income to achieve wealth.
  • Women raised by older parents and grandparents understand the value of respect, hard work, submission, quiet strength and community effort.
  • Men raised by older parents and grandparents understand their position in the family but also know that their strength comes from a higher power and also from the woman who has assumed their last name. Their sense of purpose is higher and their determination usually tends to be stronger.

Now as I have said, this is all observational fact, but not at all to be considered 100% fact. Everyone scenario has exceptions. I bring this to you all as a point of debate and also as a moment of enlightenment. No matter how advanced we get in this country, we cannot forget what made us strong in the first place. If you still have your parents or grandparents in your life, cherish them, go see them more. Ask them questions and listen closely to how they answer you. It may sound old school, but apply it to what you are going through and you will see that it just may work.

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Richard 'BigRich' Evans

Richard 'BigRich' Evans

With nearly 20 years of experience in juvenile justice, public speaking, youth and young adult coaching and intervention, Richard 'BigRich' Evans' brand of straight talk has touched thousands.

1 Comment

  1. Crystal
    October 4, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    I enjoyed this article and your perspective. My parents we’re not older but even as a child I always gravitated toward the wisdom and the guidance of my elders be that my grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends of parents, or the elder parishners at my church. What they had to say was usually always more interesting than what folks my age were talking about. I enjoy the elderly so much so that I even chose a career that involves caring for them. I guess I am an old soul and one of those children who was always in the room seen but not heard…lol. And I would like to think had a tremendous role into shaping me into the woman that I am today. The problem I have is finding my match but all things in due time.