BLACK LOVE ROCKS: Meet Marc & Pam Perry (Detroit, MI)
The Couple: Marc & Pam Perry
Location: Detroit, MI
Relationship Duration: 17 years
Best advice to young couples: “Friendship is number one, make sure that before you even get married that you have dated for a long enough time to say that you LIKE the person and not just in LOVE with the person.”
Q: How did you know he/she was the one?
Pam: Well, I dated a lot of Bozo’s so when I met him I knew he was my Boaz. It was chemistry and a friendship. I knew he was the person I wanted to share everything with. We shared tears, past failures, and dreams. I just liked him it was chemistry. We dated for a while (five years) he was the same person I never saw anything crazy, no red flags. So it basically came down to do I want to share the rest of my life with him?
Marc: I love who I am but I’m different. Pam brings out the best in me she is really my personal cheerleader. But before we even got to that it was really having the opportunity to learn about her and be open and vulnerable to talk about a lot of different things. To see each other in some very difficult situations and how we handled them in those early years I knew for a period of time from looking at certain situations and how she responded being open communicating.
Q: How important is friendship to your relationship?
Pam & Marc: We both worked in the same field and even ran an organization together called, “Black Advertisement and Radio Television.” I was the president one year and he was the president another so we did a lot of building together. I saw him in situations and I knew he was the one. (Direct comment to Marc) ‘When I saw you as president it was just amazing to see how people responded to you it just really made me proud, and you were your own business at the same time. We have always been building our dream and helping others along the way.
Q: What’s the most important thing you’ve observed and received that could’ve only happened within marriage?
Pam: Marc is a great dad! I just enjoyed watching him even today walking to the parking lot after church today holding hands, laughing and talking with our daughter Aubrey.
Marc: The greatest thing I’ve learned from Pam is the way she networks. Its really authentic about what she does over the web and to be up close and personal with someone like that is pretty powerful.
Q: What is the #1 reason you believe your marriage has survived for seventeen years?
Pam: I think it has to do that we made up our minds that we are committed to each other and we know we are in this for the long haul. We are going to see ourselves like the little couple in the movie “UP”. We know everything is a season and we enjoy each other in each season. Our expectations for each aren’t high but we do expect a lot from each other, but we don’t tear each other down.
Marc: We enjoy each other’s company we legitimately like being around each other. There are times when it’s difficult, but we don’t linger on them. This is what I contribute to Pam. She is a confronter and she want allow things to fester long. Also, we understand God ordains marriage and we want to reverence Him. Marriage is something that’s really serious and not to be taken lightly and we keep our eyes centered on our marriage.
Q: What’s the greatest thing you’ve learned from your spouse?
Pam: The one thing I’ve learned he is a real leader of our family. A lot of the stuff we do he’s making it happen. I have ideas like every five minutes but he’s keeping us grounded and stable and he’s consistent He’s my rock! I think I would be like a little tumbleweed because I’ll be running all over the place. He keeps me centered he is the person that pulls me in if I’m going to far and the person the pushes me up if I’m not going to far. He is opposite of me so he has a way to lead it’s a natural gift.
Marc: The greatest thing I’ve learned from Pam is that it is very important to be connected with God. She really listens to Him. There has been plenty of times were she’s stopped us, when I would have kept going, and said let’s just stop and listen to God and doors just begin to open.
Q: Who do you consider your marriage mentors?
Pam & Marc: We have good friends that are role models who have been married longer than us.
Q: As two entrepreneurs, how have you been able to balance career, marriage, and family?
Pam: When we first start dating there were only phone booths and he had a pager. So to keep our relationship exciting I became creative with Marc’s birthdays. On one of his birthday’s I had everyone page him. He was going crazy because his pager went off all day. On another birthday he wanted to be on the radio and he used to be a deejay in college. So a big radio station here had a deejay that’s Marc’s friend so I asked him could Marc be on the studio with him. He was doing the old school jams and all that. Pam asked, “Marc do your radio voice?” and Marc blushingly said, “No you’re embarrassing me.”
Marc: Yea it can obviously be very full and we take time for each other. There are some things we can do together, because if I’m traveling technology has been a wonderful thing. We Face Time each other while I’m traveling every night and a few times throughout the day.
FINAL WORDS OF ADVICE:
Pam & Marc:
- Know that your marriage is not going to be like your parents.
- Put the opposite person first in mind about what you want to do.
“Its really about communication the foundation of a relationship is friendship. Friends tend to want to look out for one another.”