Marriage & Couplehood

Marriage: What’s Your Perception of Marriage? (pt 2 of 3)

Not only were the responses from Michael Baisden’s post stirring up strife about the state of marriage, I had also come across a report on claiming that marriages are becoming obsolete. Again, I just knew that there had to be something wrong with the perception of living in holy matrimony.

You see, I’m married and I can admit it. I never thought that I would be happily married and have the marriage that would make others curious. They would see how their preconceived notions about marriage weren’t aligned to the real life example that stood before them.

What made this couple different because this type of marriage was only considered a fantasy? Only fictional characters in movies and in the pages of a book experienced this type of happiness. But their perception was wrong.

I came from the normal dysfunctional family, wherein marriage was something that people just practiced. It was never set to be successful or designed to last forever. It was never intended to be full of happiness. It was an opportunity to settle down.

In fact, I would hear many people say that they were ready to settle down after living a fun-filled, adventurous single life.

To settle meant to accept whoever was available, despite what they had to offer, even if it required sacrificing your happiness. I never understood why people who were seeking a mate, mostly women, always said that they refused to settle when it came to their list of “must-haves” but were quick to say that they were ready to settle down with someone and get married. So, basically, having a ring on your finger was symbolic to wearing a small set of handcuffs. They were no longer “free” they were now in legal bondage.

Whenever I ask newly married couples or couples who have been married for a few years about their views on marriage, each would give their own perception of what marriage meant to them based on what they witnessed other married couples experience. It was never based on what they created. To be continued…


Excerpt from:  He’s not perfect. I’m not perfect… But together we’re… Picture Perfect (see links for author’s website below)


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Marriage: What’s Your Perception of Marriage? (pt 3 of 3)

Lakia Brandenburg

Lakia Brandenburg

Lakia is an accomplished writer and educator with a heart for love and relationships. She's written for Gospel Today and has freelanced for top national magazines such as Upscale. Creating a happily ever after story to be your reality.