Lyfe ChatSex & Magic

Mind vs Body: Mental Arousal Rules…Hands Down

How many of you know that mental stimulation is more arousing than physical stimulation when it comes to sex?  I mean think about it, even our ability to get sexually aroused is for the most part controlled by our mind.  Once you are mentally turned off by someone, unless it’s your line of duty, trying to have “good sex” is out of the window!  You can make love to a person’s mind so good that you become the prime factor in all of their thoughts; or you can go in for the “bang bang” and never get a call back because the mental stimulation wasn’t there.

Some men (sad to say) are still stuck in the caveman days where they feel whom ever has the biggest tool wins…Well I beg to differ! There are tools bigger and faster that can love her long time with the right energizer battery; but here’s the kicker, if your woman is content with that being a substitute, chances are she hasn’t been mentally stimulated during sex. Mental stimulation is something that takes place way before the bedroom scene; you can woo her through mere conversation.  Don’t minimize your imagination thinking foreplay can only take place right before sex; every form of interaction is an opportunity to introduce foreplay to some extent.  Here are a few examples:

1) Conversation:  Ask her about her interest, her dreams and ambitions, and share a few of your own.  A man that knows what he wants and where he’s going is very attractive. While conversing, try to connect with her through body language or eye contact.

2) Dancing:  Avoid groping all over her; some women are used to men trying to get at them all the time so this will only be a turn off.  Instead try leading her to demonstrate your dominance, but in a seductive way, not overly aggressive.

3) Surprises: If you’ve already been on date #1, the next time you guys meet up try to surprise her by bringing forth one of her likes that she shared with you on the first date. Maybe she told you of a special place she enjoys or something that’s close to her heart; women love surprises and showing that you acknowledged her wants will definitely get you a thumbs up mentally.

4) Don’t be afraid to lead:  Showing signs of weakness will automatically turn her OFF! Whereas on the other hand you don’t want to come off too cocky.  We like to see that you know you are the “Alpha Male”; a respectful, confident man is always a mental grabber.

5) Showing intellect: Women love a man with good conversation. It tells her you know more than just the words to the newest Drake song and that you’ve experienced life beyond your neighborhood. Even if you don’t have a long story to tell (which is not a bad thing), just the point of having interesting conversation and challenging her mind can be a since of foreplay.

According to a recent study conducted by Dr. Castellanos on using mental stimulation for a great sex life, he says, “Oftentimes the anticipation of something can be just as pleasurable or more than an activity itself.”  This is so true!  Think about how excited you get when you allow your imagination to take over, therefore heightening the pleasure for you and your partner.  Needless to say how sorely it stands out when your body is present yet your mind lingers elsewhere. So as you can see having the benefits of a great mental stimulation is the difference between using our mind to get lost in the moment making it so much more fulfilling, and using our mind to take us away from the full benefit of the experience which limits the excitement and interest.  Which one would you rather have?

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Bianca Lynette

Bianca Lynette

Bianca is a poet, inspirational writer, mother, fiancee and encouraging spirit. Her passion is encouraging and inspiring others with her writings, positive words and affirmations to show them that there is hope for tomorrow.

1 Comment

  1. July 15, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    Great Post!! I, too , think mental stimulation is needed, especially for longevity in a relationship.