Dating While BlackSingle Life & Dating

Dear Abby, My Friend Is Having A Shot Gun Wedding

My  friend is getting married… and she asked me to write and recite a poem inspired by their relationship at their reception. Sounds cool and I should be happy for her right?

Well here are the facts:

  • They’ve only been dating for a year
  • He never technically proposed
  • Technically she got this man when he was on the outs with his 10 yr long term girlfriend, whom he actually DID propose to with a ring
  • She’s pregnant
  • The invite looked like it was done on Microsoft Word 97’ and printed on recycled paper
  • No pre-marital counseling

….so in other words …..IT’S A SHOT GUN WEDDING!!! Complete with conception, court house , and a  cookout/reception  in Grandma’s backyard.

Now I’m not saying that it has to be one of those grandeur set-ups to be real…sometimes people get so caught up in the hype of a wedding day that they lose sight of the actual dynamics of marriage itself, but in this case, it’s the polar opposite…there isn’t enough fluff or sacredness about it whatsoever…and I think that my friend is the orchestrator of the entire operation.

She’s rushing the whole thing and I think it’s because we have some mutual friends that have gotten married recently and one of them is expecting their first child. It’s an envious/biological clock/settling kind of situation, and when  her BFF tried to talked to her about it, she accused her of being jealous, but In actuality we really just want to save her from the inevitable heartbreak because it’s clear that she’s marrying him, but he’s not marry her.

What would you do in my position? Would you suck it up and write it or would you respectfully decline and just get a really nice gift?

Here’s the questionnaire below that I send to all my couples who want a poem piece for whatever occasion…and they couldn’t even answer all these.

  1. Where do you see yourselves in 10 years?
  2. Describe how you two met?
  3. Describe your first date?
  4. Describe your first kiss?
  5. Does he/she remind you of anyone? If so, who? And why?
  6. What is a  fond memory that you have of the two of you together?
  7. Do you have pet names for each other? If so, what are they?
  8. What is your song?
  9. What color best describes your love?
  10. When did you know that you loved your significant other? What were you doing at that time?
  11. When was your first argument? What was it about?
  12. A scent that reminds you of your significant other?
  13. At best, your relationship resembles what couple, famous or not. At worst?
  14. What are three traits that you admire about your significant other?
  15. Why did you choose him/her to spend the rest of your life with?
  16. Best adventure you two share together.
  17. Best word to describe your love life.
  18. How do you feel about becoming parents together for the first time and raising a family?
  19. What do you enjoy most about being in a committed relationship?
  20. What is your zodiac sign?


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B. Knight

B. Knight

Her name is Brittany Knight, but you can call her “B” as everyone else does. She is a driven right brained individual residing in Atlanta, GA, and the first thing you should know about her is that she is a writer…period. Directly following that is dreamer.