For years, I’ve been telling my husband that I don’t trust him completely with my heart. I have held on to this “truth” for so long, that I was completely oblivious/blinded to the fact that I was holding myself back from being able to fulfill God’s purpose for me.
Recently, my husband and I spent a week in Hawaii; just the two of us thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law (she watched the kids). After 8 magnificent days of paradise and completely enjoying ourselves—despite that one short, heated debate—we talked while waiting in the airport on our way home.
My husband wanted to know was I happy and how could he help me realize my dreams with my side hustle. This is good, right? I should feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have such a caring and loving husband, right? Well, here is how I responded:
“I don’t want to talk about that with you.”
WTH?!? Who says that in response to genuine love and concern coming from their husband? I’ll tell you who:
Wait, it gets better. I then told him, “Thanks for ruining what was such a wonderful vacay for me.” ….total silence the remainder of the trip home….
Sitting in this silence, I realized for the first time that I do want to trust my husband with my heart 100%. You see, before the silence, he made two extremely valid points:
I pondered these two thoughts for the next 6 hours. I then did something I never thought I would, I shared some of my inner most thoughts with my husband by allowing him to read notes from one of my journals. If I was going to trust this man with my heart, I was going all in, all at once.
It’s been a week since I gave my heart to my husband. I’ve never felt better or had a clearer mind. Not just about my side hustle, but everything. I’ve felt stuck and stagnant in life for a few years now. I believe it’s because there was a lesson for me to learn in the space I was in. I believe my new found peace and clarity are my rewards for learning my lesson.
Through this peace and clarity I realized that I’ve been looking for support and reassurance from people outside of my marriage when the only place I can get what I need is from within my marriage, from my husband.
I love this man with all of “his” heart.