Brotha TalkSingle Life & Dating

My NOT So Shameful Little Secret

Who was he??!! Who was the first fool that said real men don’t have feelings? I want to meet this jerk. Oh so now he’s SUPERHUMAN or something? Knock it off please! Jesus wept; Superman had kryptonite and Lois Lane, hell even the Tin Man cried with no heart.

Please stop buying into this macho B.S…Yes men do have feelings, even if we never say it. There are times we hurt, and if it hurts badly enough we even cry. Does that make me weak, or any less of a man? HECK NO!!! It makes me human!

From our earliest memories, most men are taught any expression of your feelings made you soft. Crying was acting like a girl, if you were hurt MAN UP. It never stopped. I spent most of my childhood hiding damn near every pain I ever felt. The funniest part of that is that was the weakest point of my life. Fortunately, I learned better. However, most men live their entire lives living this lie.

For many of us we are brain washed into believing we are supposed to be emotionally numb. It’s no wonder so many of us are messed up. Most of us are taught the wrong things, and expected to do right. It even spills over to women, to a point where they don’t know how to deal with a man who can express himself.

Just think the earliest stages of your emotional development dictates how you function as an adult. So on the one hand most men hear we’re not supposed to show emotions; don’t discuss your feelings that make you less than a man. Yet, sleeping with as many women as you can and keeping everything bottled up makes you a man. Now, we are dysfunctional adults hopping in and out of relationships, because we don’t know how to function in one.

I can’t speak for everyone, but for me and many others we do have feelings. And I can honestly say that I can’t wait until I meet that woman I can share my secret with. The moment that I can enjoy being open to the point where she can share my weakest moment, and see all of my strengths at the same time. Just remember unlike Santa Claus and talking M&M’s men with feelings do exist!!!

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Robert Nolden

Robert Nolden

As an author, relationship advisor and speaker, Robert Nolden has taken life's lemons and truly made lemonade. After meeting and talking with many couples, he learned that oftentimes relationships could have been salvaged if there had been better communication. From that revelation came "From His Perspective" which seeks to enhance female understanding of what a man is saying and doing.

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