“My space”…”Me time”…”Peace and Quiet”. How important is this in a marriage? We all need our own space and time by ourselves in a marriage…away from the spouse…away from the kid(s). There is nothing negative about this. This space, however long it may be, can be a time of reflection, a time of rejuvenation, or just a time of relaxation.
I think some confusion from the spouse may come when they see what is being done during this “Me Time”. For guys, you may want to go hang with the boys or go play a round of golf; while the ladies may want to go to the spa for the day with her girlfriends. Heck, it may only involve some quiet time in the house alone. As a husband or wife, you need to respect what your spouse wants to do during that peaceful time and trust that nothing is being done to hurt, harm, or destroy your family. Just know that your spouse had a life before the two of you were married and you will not have 100% identical interests.
Sometimes the chaos of the family can be overwhelming and just downright tiring. As a loving spouse, you need to be attentive in recognizing when your spouse needs a break from the chaos. At that point, you should volunteer to clear out the house by taking the kid(s) out for the day so that your spouse can enjoy some relaxation time alone. Now you would hope that this is returned in favor when you need it also; but don’t do it expecting it to be returned to you. Do it because of the love, compassion, and consideration you have for your spouse.
At this point I have discussed allowing your spouse to have some peace and quiet time. Don’t forget about yourself. If your spouse never offers to take the kid(s) out for a while so that you can relax, then ask for it. Plan an event for yourself and let your spouse know when you want to do the event. In many cases, your “my space” opportunities are not going to manifest on its own…you will have to make these opportunities happen. When you get your “my space” time, make the most of it so that you are re-energized to enhance your marriage and family.
Think of it like this…what happens when you put new batteries in something? It operates at its highest potential. That should be the case with you and your spouse after you get your “me time”. You and your spouse should be operating on all cylinders within your family and marriage.
So to answer the question, “My space…can I have it?”. YES…because you need to be operating at your best for your spouse and family.
Love hard and love true.