Headliners

One, Two, Threesome! Ménage a trois, Anyone? (Part 1)

Imagine your favorite dessert (cake, ice cream, pie, etc.) garnished with your favorite tasty topping and served to you just the way you like it! Sounds delicious right? But, what happens when this insatiable treat of paradise turns from an image of delight into a real life disaster? What steps could be taken to help prevent the unimaginable?

For some people, a ménage a trios or threesome fantasy is a delightful and pleasurable treat. But, what happens when this delightful treat goes undelightfully wrong? If not initially entered into with extreme care, you could find yourself in a middle of a BIG mess! A threesome is a common fantasy among men and women alike. Many desire to explore this tempting taboo but is it really all its crack up to be? And, does participating in a Ménage a trois cause more harm than good to most relationships?

Ménage a trois is a French phrase that describes an arrangement involving three people who live in the same house, with or without a sexual relationship. Nowadays the term ménage a trois has become synonymous with the term threesome, which implies a consensual sexual liaison among three people, no matter the sexual orientation or gender.

 To Ménage a Trois or Not? That is the question: Why Do People Choose to Partake?

For a variety of reasons, people may desire to indulge in a ménage a trois. For some men, the fantasy of being with two women at the same time, especially if the women perform sexual acts on each other, is an enticing sexual experience. For some women, the mere thought of being the center of attention as two men may push her to the ultimate thresholds of pleasure, a sexual peak of indescribable measure.

Although the reasons for indulging may be limitless, the desire or need to satisfy curious sexual urges may have lead many people to choosing the ménage a trois experience. Crossing the boundaries of sexual experimentation becomes the thrill behind ménage a trois. What may ignite this desire of experimentation has no boundaries either. It could start during a person’s college years, after recently becoming divorced, the death of a spouse or just when there’s a desire to push boundaries of one’s own sexual norm. By adding sexual variety and spice to an otherwise dull and monotonous sex life the ménage a trois offers an open invitation for welcoming a third party into the bedroom. For many, this sexual freedom can intensify the passion for the primary relationship. It can also be a way to learn new and pleasurable sexual techniques ignited by the excitement of a new method of sexual exploration.

Now, participating in a ménage a trois may definitely have its up and downs (pun intended) as well as its advantages and disadvantages. For some men and women, the advantages are so enticing that the decision to partake is a definite yes without considering the risks and discussing both the foreseen pros and the cons of the experience. So, let’s take a moment to do just that. You can decide what fits you but here are few of the common advantages (pros) and disadvantages (cons) that may occur when participating in a ménage a trois:

? The freedom of sexual experimentation is an important element to a healthy sex life.

? Being able to discover and explore fantasies and desires with your partner helps to increase the intimacy.

? Keeping variety in your sex life helps to add spice and keep the relationship fresh and new.

? The likelihood of cheating is reduced because you both agree to open your sexual relationship as a shared experience.

? Jealousy between partners. No matter how open a person thinks they are, it can be difficult to see and enjoy your partner receiving pleasure from another person. Additionally, some even become turned off by watching their partner perform “nasty” sexual acts on someone other than themselves.

? Because sex is such an intimate action, the potential to form emotional bonds with someone other than your partner in a ménage situation is also possible.

? You run the risk of your partner wanting you to mimic the sexual acts of the invited party.

? Also anytime you have sex, there’s a potential risk of sexually transmitted disease and unintended pregnancies.

 

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TaMara Campbell

TaMara Campbell

TaMara has more than 18 years experience of coaching, speaking, writing and teaching about human sexuality and intimate relationships so there’s very little that she hasn’t heard about sex.