She was my best friend for 12 years. We were so close that we could finish each other’s sentences and know what the other was thinking before it was spoken. And then things began to change…
I couldn’t share everything with her like I had in years past. I couldn’t talk about my successes at work, because she hated her job…and I didn’t want to seem insensitive.
I couldn’t talk about how my husband and I had come out of a very difficult and trying situation and how our relationship was stronger than ever, because she had been divorced and unhappy with her love life for as many years as I had been married…and I didn’t want to seem thoughtless.
I couldn’t talk about the new friendships I was growing, because she didn’t have new relationships to nurture…and I didn’t want her feel like she was being replaced.
One day, I called her, and there was nothing to talk about. It was like pulling teeth to keep a 5 minute conversation going. How could this be? This was my bestie; my girl; my partner in crime. We’d spent hours on end talking about absolutely nothing…now we had absolutely nothing to talk about.
I was crushed. I’m not one who allows a lot of people into my deep, inner circle of true friendship. To be at this point with my best friend of 12 years was confusing. I was upset, angry, mad (although my father-in-law says only dogs go/get mad); I was hurt.
I was the one who ended the friendship. What was an even harder blow was that she didn’t put up a fight. She just let our friendship go like it was piece of trash. She let me go. How could she? I would have fought tooth and nail if the roles had been reversed… wouldn’t I? My hurt was so intense. You see, it wasn’t just our friendship that was lost; it was my relationship with her girls, mom and dad, brothers and sisters that I also lost on that day.
Almost a year has passed since I ended our friendship. Today, Karen (one of my last closest friends) told me to remember Ecclesiastes 3 which starts out, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven”.
I will always love my bestie; I think about her often…she will forever have a special place in my heart. She cared for me the way no other friend had before her. I am thankful God placed her in my life, even if only for a moment in time. We had a wonderful season together and that is what I choose to remember and cherish.
You know who you are. If you’re reading this, know that I love you dearly and pray that God is taking the best care of you, the girls, and your family.
“Sweetner for your Mocha”…Strong, loving, solid friendships between women are special and should be treasured. Always take the friendship for what it is; what it is meant to be. Let your bestie know how much she means to you and cherish the moments that will soon become wonderful memories.