Marriage & CouplehoodOur Happy Marriage

Shooting PAR

I guess I better explain what “par” is first before I proceed … just in case you don’t know golf terminology.  Par is considered to be the number of strokes a golfer is expected to need to complete an individual hole/all holes on the golf course.  I guess with the mentioning of “strokes” and “holes”, I should also let you know that this is not about sex.

What this is about is scoring a good game in your relationship.  Think of each game as a facet of your relationship.  This could range from communicating with your spouse, to helping out around the house, to showing appreciation to your spouse, and to showing/giving your spouse some extra lovin.  With each one of these games, it should be your goal to shoot “par” or better … meaning you are winning your spouse over in all facets of your relationship.

Now as far as my relationship is concerned, I think I am shooting “par” overall (still married). The good thing about shooting “par” for the game is that you can have a few bad holes, but then come back with some good holes to reach an overall “par” game or better.  My wife lets me know in a heartbeat when I am shooting a “bogey” (1 over par … not good) or even a “double bogey”.  Even though this is normally in the communication area, I like to think I am communicating enough other times to get that “par”.

What are you shooting in your relationship?  Are you shooting all “bogeys” (not good), all “birdies” (very good), or a mixture of both that evens out to “par”?

Many relationships probably experience the mixture.  The key here is to make sure you are excelling more than you are failing.  I think your spouse will forget about those few “bogeys” if you are consistently scoring “pars” or “birdies” in the relationship.

Whatever your current situation is within your relationship, good or bad, you need to be shooting “par”.  If you’re not shooting “par”, change up your swing and swing a different way.  In other words, mix up your routine within your relationship to see if you can change what hasn’t been working in the past.  Overall, you want to get the ball in the hole in the minimum amount of strokes.

And YES, this is applicable to both men and women!

Love hard and love true.  Let us know your thoughts.


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Cedric and Christel Wells

Cedric and Christel Wells

Cedric and Christel chose to join their lives together on March 6, 2004. Over these seven years, they have endured obstacles that many married couples go through…learning the hard/easy ways to grow and strengthen their bond.