Should I Call Off My Wedding?
When it comes to relationships, there is no shortage of questions or answers. BLF Blogger and professional journalist Mr. Shannon Lanier puts his skills to the test with his column ‘Ask a Young Black Married Man’.
“I’m really in love with my fiance, but I don’t get along with his family. I’m really considering calling the whole thing off. A life full of drama is not appealing to me.”
Dear BLF Reader,
I agree a life full of drama is a divorce waiting to happen, but your fairytale doesn’t have to end that way. Please understand when you marry someone you marry the whole family and all their drama. So my advice would be to first get your fiance’ to understand how serious this situation is and get him to stand up for you. His family loves him and he has to get them to understand that he loves you and you’re not going anywhere! If he’s not willing to defend you against his family now, you can’t trust him to defend you for the rest of your lives.
Next I would say you have to do the hardest part of the puzzle… kill them with kindness. I’m not saying be fake or kiss up, just be as nice as you can w/o cussing anyone out or going off on them for a smart comment to nasty look. It’s still possible to live in harmony, sometimes people just need to get to know us and like us for who we are not the person they want us to be.
Lastly, you & your fiance could have a family intervention, where you sit and talk to this family about what the problem is and how you all can make this work, especially if they ever want to spend time with your future children. I like to say if there’s a problem, go straight to the source and work it out. But be patient, the change may not happen overnight.! Worst case scenario, if you really love this guy get married and move to a different city where you’ll only have to worry about seeing his family on Christmas or Thanksgiving.
God Luck & God Bless,