LifestyleSista SpeakWhat The Love

Sis 2 Sis: 3 Reasons To Get a Little Kinky?

In the last few years, numerous sistas have moved from being silky, smooth, to kinky, curly, and wavy. Most of us who have taken the “natural” plunge (including me) are more than okay with it. However, our “unruly” locks have become a notable topic of discussion…especially for single sistas.

It seems that some (and by some I mean many) of the brothas aren’t as happy with our decisions to be “nappy.” And their unhappiness is spawning conversations about relaxing or flat ironing your hair in an effort to attract, keep, or maintain a relationship.

And while some sistas aren’t getting approached—allegedly because of their hair, some natural sistas are being labeled as strong and independent simply because of it.

In fact, even in questioning the men in my life, I got a variety of responses from “I love your hair” to “I don’t really care, as long as you don’t look like something out of  ‘The Color Purple’.  You can ask 10 random men their thoughts on natural hair, and you’ll get 10 different responses, but at least one of them will be, “I prefer straight hair”.

So, what is a single sista to do? Is it possible that the kinky, curly, and wavy tresses that we’ve grown proud to display are hindering our love lives? Is it possible, that the only thing standing between you and a date with that handsome gentleman across the room is your hair?

If you’ve ever pondered this possibility, then let me give you a few words of advice.

1: You are beautiful…own it! No explanation needed.

2: You are more than your hair. With everything else that you have going on, the last thing that you need to concern yourself with is whether to straighten your hair or not. You are smart (and I already listed beautiful), and have your life together. If he cannot see you past your hair, then that’s not your problem. It’s
his.

3: If you want to straighten your hair, then you should do it for you. You shouldn’t do it to attract someone who might turn and run the first time you decide that
there’s no time to flat iron your hair for date night.

While your hair may be a big deal to that brotha, there are quite a few who could care less.

(Disclaimer: If you have dried out, unloved locks, then that’s probably not attractive; however, if you’re looking lovely with your ‘fro, twist out, or natural curl pattern, then bravo!)

In the end, you have to decide what’s best for you…and if you have to ‘go straight’ to get it.

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Stephanie D. McKenzie (MBA, CPC, CRC)

Stephanie D. McKenzie (MBA, CPC, CRC)

Stephanie McKenzie is the founder of WhatTheLove™ which offers energetic, entertaining, and educational individual and group coaching programs. These programs are designed to remove the power and pain of bad relationships in your life.