The BigRich Chronicles

Stay In Your Lane

As a person who has been driving for over 20 years I have often found myself blowing my horn at drivers on either side of me in these Houston streets who happen to be drifting over into my lane. Usually the horn is followed by me yelling out “stay in your lane” as if they can actually hear me. It is truly a hilarious site to see but also a very accurate statement.  The ironic thing is that the statement can apply to relationships and friendships just as much as it does to drivers.


If you have ever been cheated on or have ever cheated you will know without me going into great detail what staying in your lane means. How many times have you said to yourself; “Damn, when I was single and without anyone my phone was not ringing but now that I have someone, this phone is on fire.”  The truth is, people do not take you seriously until they see you with someone else. They discount your value and they disregard your significance until you are not available to them.  When they find out you are gone, that is when Operation Go Get Em goes into effect.  If you fall for this time tested bait and switch technique, you my dear are the biggest loser. There are two sides to this scenario though. As a man, I often have reminded myself to stay in my lane in terms of how I approached women and also in terms of how I was approached.  Basically, if you are not fully available for the person you are approaching or the person that is approaching you, STAY IN YOUR LANE. Let somebody else have a shot at that woman/man. Stop being selfish and greedy.


Let’s be clear, true friends look out for one another and try to make sure that nothing bad happens to each other. However, what your friends do in their personal lives is truly none of your business unless they choose to share it with you.  In other words, STAY IN YOUR LANE. If he/she decides she wants to date someone that you do not approve of, really all you can do is voice your opinion and move on. If you find out that the person they are dating is messing over them, you running to tell them about it is not going to improve your friendship. Gauge who you are dealing with before you start telling the business. Is your friend going to believe you or is he/she going to believe the other person?  Too many times in life, folks get in other peoples business and then get smooth embarrassed when the other person goes off on them. Hey, you had that one coming. Had you stayed in your lane, you could have avoided some of that.

At the end of the day, people are going to do what people want to do. There are not enough words in the English vocabulary to change a person’s mind once they have decided what they will do.  Relationships and friendships are work and both are worth having so it is best to remember where your place is in them and STAY IN YOUR LANE.

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Richard 'BigRich' Evans

Richard 'BigRich' Evans

With nearly 20 years of experience in juvenile justice, public speaking, youth and young adult coaching and intervention, Richard 'BigRich' Evans' brand of straight talk has touched thousands.