A few weeks back while having a lively discussion in The Conversation Continues (TCC) it was stated that often times African-Americans want to fall back on racial issues as the reason why we are a certain way without ever accepting responsibility for anything. That got me to thinking; what things in our daily walk of life can we accept responsibility for that we have not. As a man, I can tell you that I am not perfect and therefore will make mistakes till the end of time, but I cannot use “I am a man” as why I do it. I simply have to admit when I am wrong and go about fixing the problem and making efforts to not let it happen again.
So, before I go in about everyone else, let me go in on myself first. TO ANYONE THAT I HAVE HARMED IN THE PAST, I APOLOGIZE. Wow, that felt good. Not because I said it, but because I have gotten it off of my chest. I certainly encourage everyone else reading this to do the same to someone today. I recognize that I have not always been the best person I could be. I have lied, I have cheated, I have taken, I have used, I have been uncaring, I have been confrontational, I have been selfish and I have been outspoken. I admit my shortcomings because from my admittance I can go forward correcting the behavior. I strive to be the best person I can be and without growth I would never get there. So now that I have spoken on me…let me get to YOU!!
Black America….you cannot blame White America for EVERYTHING that is still going on. Women, you cannot blame every man for how you behave. Men, you cannot blame women, your parents, society, etc. for everything that has happened to you. Somewhere in there, you played a part. Yes, racial inequality exists and will likely always exist, but while we as Black folks are talking about it, Hispanics are quickly taking over the country riding on the backs of the Civil Rights Movement and will become the majority in this country by 2020. If you think you got it bad now. Wait till you are the second largest minority behind those same White folks we so quickly blame everything on.
Women, if a man calls you at midnight and wants to come over, even though you two are not together….that is YOUR fault. So if he gets what he came for and leaves, that is on you. If he is doing you wrong and you do not take action to correct it, then clearly he is going to interpret that as you being ok with it. Now I am not going to say guys are without fault because clearly we are, but any person only gets away with as much as someone else allows.
Men, I know ex-felons, parolees and drug addicts with damn good, legal jobs. So if you are sitting at home with a clean record and cannot get employment…maybe your azz is being a bit too picky and definitely too lazy. I was raised by a man and he told me that a real man is going to make sure he has two things: 1. A vehicle or a reliable way to get to work and 2. a job to go to so he can take care of himself and his family. I drive to work everyday and see more “help wanted” signs in windows and signage than ever before. Why rely on the government to pay your bills when you are an able bodied man? You cannot wonder why women are doing better than men in some areas if you are not recognizing that SHE took the job you felt was beneath you and then worked her way up. As Kanye would say “you gotta crawl before you ball.”
Now let me be clear, this is not written with malice in my heart or blinders on my face. I recognize that we are all dealing with some REAL issues amongst us, but what I am saying is very clear; whatever problems we have, WE are going to have to work on fixing. In coming weeks and in my upcoming book I will get much more in depth on this issue, because it needs to be talked about. So let me leave you with this…if you knew better you’d do better. Now that you know, DO BETTER!!