The Hardest To Love
Love Hard and Love True. This is the caption I normally end my articles with. I say this because if you love lightly or with minimal effort, the person you are trying to love may not get all the love that’s needed to stay committed in the relationship.
A good book that I read says several things about love. It says that love is patient…love is kind…love hopes all things…love endures all things. The book also says that love doesn’t behave inappropriately. It even says that love never fails. This is a fairly good description of what love is. It’s a good description of how our love should be for the ones we love…our kids, spouse, parents, family and friends.
How often do we have a fallout/argument/conflict with ones that we love?…challenging the principles stated above. Better yet, who do we normally have the most fallouts/arguments/conflicts with? I think most would probably say spouse. Some may say kids…depending on the age. When these “conflicts” arise, I’m sure the last thing on your mind is expressing love to your loved one.
Now having a conflict with your son or daughter has two positive aspects that may allow the atmosphere of love to quickly come back after conflict…
- As the parent, you can state your case, lay down the law in discipline, and send them on their way…to their room, outside to play, or anywhere away from you.
- Your child was birthed from you. Because of this fact, there is an internal parental love that supersedes any conflict.
All is forgiven quickly and you can immediately show love to your kid(s) with an embrace and/or kiss ensuring them that you love them.
Now when it comes to conflict with your spouse, the two positives you have going with your kids is the opposite with your spouse. Not only did your spouse not come from you, but you also can’t make him/her leave during or after the conflict. Your spouse can hang around right there where you are and continue lingering on the conflicting topic. Unfortunately, no internal switch is flipped ON allowing you to want to give your spouse a big hug and passionate kiss. No, you want to figure out how to get this person out of your face…no love is about to be shown here.
Sounds nerve wrecking, right? Well it can be if you let it. Since you are with your spouse every day and conflicts are sure to come up, you must find ways to quickly resolve conflicts. Even if you don’t completely resolve the conflict, you still need to establish a safe comfort zone that will allow you both to continue showing and expressing love. Hard, right?
No one ever said marriage was easy.
You must always remember that marriage takes work. You need to work harder at your marriage than any other thing you do. Think about your current job. How are you able to perform that job? You had to learn the skills to do it. The same applies to marriage and loving your spouse…you have to learn how to do it. Both you and your spouse will change as time goes by. Priorities will change, attitudes will change, and maturity levels will change. It is a must that you adapt and learn better ways to love each other. Not doing so can lead your marriage down the wrong path.
What should you do?
- Ask the higher being that you look up to for continuous wisdom and guidance to love your spouse the way they need to be loved.
- Look for and study other married couples. Notice the good and the bad so you learn what you should and shouldn’t do in your marriage.
- Read books, articles, and any other types of documents you can find on marriage and love
Invest the time to learn how to love the person you want in your life for the rest of your time on this planet.
Love Hard and Love True