Brotha TalkThe BigRich Chronicles

The Harsh Realities of a Grown Azz Man (pt.3)

Once again, I am back with yet some more of the things that as a Black man, I witness and deal with on a daily basis. For those of you that follow me, you all will remember that I have previously written using this same title about Black men being America’s most wanted.  Apparently that was a popular story for many of you as it was #1 on for almost two weeks.

SIDENOTE: Thank you to everyone that follows my blog and visits the fan page. Please tell all of your friends, co-workers and family about it: .  Without further delay, here is another installment of The Harsh Realities of a Grown Azz Man.

We as a race of people do not love ourselves nor others in our own race.

Listen, I understand that I am a blogger and executive for I understand that our mission is to restore positive black relationships and black love. In my opinion, NOTHING is more important to the basic foundation of positive black love and relationships than being able to love ourselves and then to be able to love others that look like us. A therapist friend of mine recently told me that in order for people to love others, they need to know what love looks like and feels like before they can share it and the best way to learn it is by first loving oneself. Powerful, yet basic commentary that many of us have totally forgotten.

As a Black man I will say this; it hurt like hell the first time I realized that I love Black people more then they love me. I wished and even prayed that what I was seeing and feeling was just my imagination, but unfortunately, it was not.  The truth is, some of my own kind would rather see someone of another race writing this article and having my title than to see me with it. What makes matters worse, some of those that would wish doom upon me are the same people who profess to care for me. I have often said that family and close friends will do you worse than any enemy ever could and that Black folks need not blame others for our own self inflicted negativity.

I understand that society has placed a major burden on us and has worked very hard to keep us down in some instances. I get that. But the fact that we choose to stay down is OUR fault. Some of us have gotten comfortable at the bottom. So comfortable that we have recruited others to stay down there with us. THAT is the problem. How can you love yourself and love others and yet have no desire for self improvement? How can you wish me well if you do not even know what well is?

Those that know me best consider me somewhat of a Renaissance Man and also a throwback to another era. They claim that I genuinely care about those closest to me and that I really have an interest in seeing others do well. YES, I do. My problem is…why is that such a strange thing?

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Richard 'BigRich' Evans

Richard 'BigRich' Evans

With nearly 20 years of experience in juvenile justice, public speaking, youth and young adult coaching and intervention, Richard 'BigRich' Evans' brand of straight talk has touched thousands.


  1. August 29, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    sel-hate as a collective was the problem, in my opinion, from maybe the 30’s through the 1980’s. But the dynamics have changed with the change in popular culture. Loving thug, loving pop culture, loving things is the

  2. Iris
    October 18, 2011 at 8:54 PM

    Wow this finale is refreshing. You nailed it Real talk Rich, the thing is black people believe that they are unworthy of love, wealth or happiness. It’s true! I recently attended the MoneyWise conference with Kelvin Boston, Willie Jolley and other guest. He pointed out how he watched his client,a widow, whom he advised to invest her late husband’s insurance money into stocks and bonds slowly and surely deplete all she had. We must become wise and realize strong holds have been place in our mentality and bolster new thinking in order to heal. I look at my son’s generation, and I see a new revival of self love, at least in my household. There are individuals that are striving to be a part of the revitalization, and you my friend are doing a fabulous job!

  3. December 2, 2011 at 10:01 PM

    My brother. I appreciate your wisdom as it pertains to us, black men. I am glad to see that there are others who think like me. If you are in need of other writers besides yourself for your website – hit me up. I too am a writer. I have been gifted by God to possess a good command of the english language. Also, what you have written here is right out of my own heart. This is not about money. You don’t have to pay me nothing. I just desire to form a relationship and assist you in getting this powerful message out. Let me know what you think. May God continue to bless you my man.