Have you ever dated someone and found yourself confused about the status of your relationship or the level of their commitment? And every time you attempted to clarify things you were met with a confusing commentary about ‘labels’? Or maybe you were told, “I just don’t want to get serious with anyone right now, why do we have to make this complicated?”. Buckle up because I’m about to blow your wig back (even if you don’t wear one).
We’ve been told for years, that this behavior means “He’s Just Not That In To You”. But some how, we still fall into that trap. Its because your lover SAYS all the right things, but there is just something amiss. Here’s the nugget…you are simply the Diet Coke, in time they will move on to ‘the real thing’. You are the ZERO calorie substitute, you might be best for them and won’t make them fat…but you’re not quite their ‘real thing’. You are just the bookmark that holds the place until the reader decides to turn the page. Ok, I’m sure you get my analogies now.
Here is how it works. People will go to ENORMOUS lengths to get their needs met. Sexual leeches are easy to detect, but sometimes we miss the behavior when it comes to emotional leeches. When a person is in need of support, comfort companionship, validation, etc. They enter into relationships to get the temporary ‘fix’. Its an attempt to waylay those negative feelings until they can hit the jackpot with their desired mate. Now I make no judgments about arrangements between consenting adults. The problem arises when only ONE of them is aware that the desired destination is not mutual. Sometimes people keep you in the dark for fear of losing their source of fulfillment. Then you start to feel like you are chasing a kite that you can’t quite catch.
So how do you know when you are the Zero Calorie Sub? Its simple:
So let me wrap this up with some advice. I’m all about HEALTHY relationships, not relationships of convenience. But I encourage you to do what works for you. But if you figure out you are Sprite Zero…run like hell or risk getting dumped for a 6-pack of lemon lime goodness.