“I don’t know what’s going on with him; he doesn’t seem to be paying me any attention. He used to always go the extra mile to show me how much he loves me, now it seems like he doesn’t even put forth the effort. Now that I think about it, he doesn’t do a lot of the “little things” he used to do. Like sneak kisses throughout the day, or surprise me with a hug from behind while I’m in the kitchen preparing a meal. I remember when he used to shower me with compliments and always do things here and there to show me he loves me; but lately it seems like he’s grown cold….OMG!!! He doesn’t love me anymore!”
Hold fast sista girl! It may not be that he doesn’t love you anymore; it may simply be that he wants to feel loved too! We as women can become spoiled when we have a man that constantly shows us attention. Without even knowing we turn into permanent receivers and lose all sense of giving. Taking for granted the fact that he has feeling too; let alone how hard it is to find a man with these attributes! Let’s look at Beyonce for instance, my girl Bey is constantly singing about catering to her man and how she’s gonna dance for him to show her appreciation. Now I’m not saying you have to do all that (I’m sure he wouldn’t complain) but the point of the matter is letting your man know you appreciate him.
Ladies I know we mean well, but I’ll tell you from experience, expecting your man to constantly “show love” and you not reciprocate at least some of the time will eventually get old and he’s gonna eventually get ghost! I however got caught up in the whole “I deserve” and “he owes me” dilemma; so it was like everything he did for me was for me and if I decided to reciprocate on my time I would. Nope, wrong answer, all I was doing was pushing him away from me and making him feel unloved. It can’t always be about your wants and believe it or not he needs that attention from you more than you think. It helps to boost his “man ego”; I mean of course he’s not going to bluntly say that, He’s A Man!
So, for you special ladies out there that are so used to being pampered by your honey that you forgot how to reciprocate the love, here are some tips on how to give him something he can feel…
1) Initiate Love: Just randomly give him that baby I love you kiss. Kissing has always been#1 on the intimacy list.
2) Let your fingers do the talking: When he gets home, don’t say anything, just take his shoes, get the oil and express your love through touch. Putting your all into a nice body massage will definitely show him how much you appreciate him. *Add a little excitement by getting the edible oil; this way you can allow your lips and your tongue to express love as well.
3) Compliment him: I know you’re used to receiving all the compliments in the house but this time we’re gonna turn the tables. If he got a hair cut or you notice he’s wearing new cologne, tell him how much you like it. *Men love to get compliments especially on the littlest things they think you don’t notice.
4) Treat him: Assuming he’s normally the one covering the tab when you two are having a night out on the town; this time tell him to leave his wallet home. This gesture will remind him of what a great independent woman he has by his side; plus it will save him a few dollars, you can’t go wrong with that.
5) Respect his “man time”: Women love to talk and we love to know that our man is listening; but this time resist that urge to wrap him up about how your day went and what happened at work (don’t worry, he won’t be sad lol). Actively let him know that you are giving him some man time. If you know a few of his closest buddies (which you should) let them know you’re setting up an evening out for him. Let them go out and enjoy themselves. This idea is actually a plus for you both because in turn you get to have alone time as well.
6) Pick up some lingerie: Trust and believe this always shows him how much you love him! Get a little spicy, prepare for the event. You may wanna take a polarize class or look up some different tricks you can try to bring forth the excitement.
7) Give him a BJ: Now we all know this treatment takes time and willingness, but he will be very appreciative in the end (if you do it right). For those of you that are up to par on your bj game, you may want to throw a twist in it. Try giving him one while he’s driving…this my friends is an absolute mind blower!
It’s a blessing to have a man that is willing to cater to your love request without demanding much from you; don’t push him away by making him feel unappreciated!