CommunicationHeadliners

When “Nothing” means “Something”

“What’s wrong?” We’ve all been in a position where these two words questioned our well-being. When these words are uttered, it must be extremely apparent that something is weighing in on our thoughts but we’re quick to convince ourselves, and our man, that it’s “nothing.” Immediately a barrier is created and the walls of communication are at the point of falling down.

I was quick to curl up my lips and shake my head defiantly whenever I was asked about my obvious discontentment. I wanted my husband to know that something was wrong with me regardless if I admitted it or not. He was supposed to know that what he just said, struck a nerve that caused an immediate shift in my attitude; that him not taking out the trash was becoming a weekly habit; and how simply not saying how beautiful I looked in my new dress affected me. I never understood why I would get so nonchalant when something was bothering me. Instead of communicating my issue at the moment, I would allow minutes to turn into hours of letting “nothing” actually turn into “something.” Even though I believed that he caused me to feel the way that I did, I was at fault for not sharing my true feelings at the time in love. Instead I allowed a minor infraction to put our relationship on trial time and time again. Out of nothing, a huge argument would arise and the mood of our day would change drastically, causing more problems to a situation that could’ve been resolved if addressed sooner.

It wasn’t until I realized how nothing was having a major affect on the way we communicated. First of all, I gave my husband the job of a mind-reader because I just assumed he was supposed to know that what he said or did made me feel uneasy. I discovered that “nothing” does mean “something,” and the something was with me. I challenged myself to immediately address the feeling that caused me to feel awkward. This had to happen before I approached my husband about what he, most of the time, unintentionally had done. What I discovered was that I had to learn to be honest about when something was agitating me. I could no longer say nothing and expect for him to eventually figure it out. If there was some miscommunication, I had to find the sweet words of honeycomb to share how it made me feel. It had to be done in love; not with an attitude. This took practice and still does today.

After paying more and more attention to whatever my “something” was and speaking to my husband about it, I now see that what I thought was really annoying me, actually turned out to be nothing. Now that our communication has improved, when I say that nothing is wrong with me, I really mean it.

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Lakia Brandenburg

Lakia Brandenburg

Lakia is an accomplished writer and educator with a heart for love and relationships. She's written for Gospel Today and has freelanced for top national magazines such as Upscale. Creating a happily ever after story to be your reality.