My wife and I recently had a Parent/Principal conference at my son’s school. And NO, he is not getting into that much trouble…we actually want him to be challenged a little more with Math. At the conclusion of our meeting, we started discussing family and marriage and the principal mentioned how she and her husband were pleased to have their youngest child start college this Fall. With 20+ years of marriage under their belt, I asked her what’s the one piece of advice she would give my wife and I to keep our marriage going strong (8 years and counting). Her response…make sure your spouse is your top priority. She emphatically said that her husband knows he’s the most important thing in her life…before friends, before the job, and even before the kids.
I found the principal’s advice to be powerful and spot on. Let’s think about this. When you marry, you start your family right at that moment. Your union with your spouse is the foundation of your family. Children will come along, jobs will come along, education and hobbies will also come along. Over time, many of us allow some of these other items to become the top priority in our family…instead of keeping our spouse as top priority. It’s sad to say, but many marriages may start from the beginning with the spouse NOT being the top priority in the relationship.
How do you think your family is going to stay together if you’re not taking care of your foundation…your spouse? It’s true that challenges will arise, obstacles and setbacks will be there, and most definitely arguments will be around during the existence of your marriage. Regardless of all these things, your spouse needs to know that he or she is your top priority…your #1. Not number 2 or 3, but #1. There should be no neglect…no pushing aside…no abandonment.
Maybe that job or business can still be successful being priority number 2 or 3. I think your kids will also turn out okay if they are priority number 2. When the foundation is set and solid, you can build anything on top of that.
As you take inventory of you family, ask yourself the simple question…”Who’s #1 in my life?”. Hopefully you have the right priorities set to allow your marriage to last “till death do you part”.
Love hard and love true.