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Why Are Some Women Single?

I pondered, “Why Are All of These Beautiful Women Single?”

Right off the bat let me make it very clear: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE. Being single is only an issue for those who don’t want to be and can’t figure out why. Unsurprisingly, I am going to be very candid. I hope I don’t offend anybody. Charge it to my mind and not my heart. Just treat it like a ghetto speed bump and GET OVER IT.;-)


1. You’re too spiritual. You talk about God more than Jesus did. Can you communicate without it turning into a sermonette? I love the Lord. I truly do. But, I don’t want to hear about God 24/7. There is a thing called BALANCE. Can we just talk? But, if you spend more time at church than a Baptist pew, I guess the Bible is the only thing that can come out of you.

2. Your standards are unrealistic. You are requiring that he bring to the table what you can’t bring yourself. You want Denzel, yet you’re content with being Aunt Esther. God may have the two of you to buy a load of wood and build a table together.

3. You compare him to your girlfriend’s husband or your pastor. You assume you know who God has for you based on who God had for them. Did Eve choose Adam or was Adam chosen for her?

4. You’re mad. All of your friends are mad. You hadn’t gotten over yesterday. Your next man doesn’t even know your ex-man. Why are you holding him hostage in the history of your pain he had nothing to do with? You have too many buttons. Certain buttons should disappear once you’re healed.

5. You fellowship in all of the wrong places. Your husband may not be at church. Your husband may not even know the Lord. He may see you on aisle 3 st the grocery store and be so overwhelmed by you that he drives straight over to Damascus Road.

6. You want your husband “ready-made”. You want him to come READY for you. HE doesn’t even know you! Besides, were you made for him or was he made for you? You refuse to employ faith. You want to SEE him NOW.

7. Your expectations are too low. You don’t believe they’re any good Godly men left. As a woman thinketh in heart, so is she. You expect the worse and have your expectations met. You look for everything wrong and don’t even notice what’s right. Many women have NO clue who a good man truly is. Many women can’t even get along with a man that she doesn’t feel she needs to change.

8. You hadn’t maxed out your singleness. You’re simply not ready…and that’s ok! Allow God to keep molding and shaping you.

9. You want him to take you as you are. He may not want a cigarette smoking sailor. Comb your hair. Brush your teeth. Pick your feet up when you walk. Have some self-respect. And by all means – PUT SOME CLOTHES ON THAT FIT.

10. You want to be married so bad you seem desperate. I can’t speak for all men, but I don’t want to be hunted. I wanted to do the hunting. Every man you meet will not be your husband. Stop seeing him at the wedding. Can you just see him for who is he today? Can you leave your expectations at home and just chill?

11. You’re looking for the wrong things. You’re looking for what the man drives opposed to what drives the man.

12. You have no idea who you are. You were created to help him. What are you qualified to do? Who are you exactly?

13. He can’t tell you anything. Unless you hear it from your pastor or parent, you ain’t trying to hear it. No real man wants an unteachable woman. I agree that you may know a great many things. But, you don’t know everything and can only speculate what being a man truly is.

14. You want to bring your past into your future. Your friends may not be invited into your marriage. Why do you have to check with your girls? Why do you have all of these casual male friends? Yet, you expect him to automatically understand that. If they don’t have a purpose that will edifiy the relationship – they don’t have a valid reason to be there.

15. You want to share headship. Just because you have more education, earn more money, have a higher credit score and can speak better English, does NOT qualify you to head a man. Nothing you will ever do will give you that role. Sure, a wise man will submit to your strengths; but at the beginning and end of every day, he’s still your covering.

16. You’re playing sex games. You agree to the wrong environment, get all hot and bothered and demand that he not expect anything. If he isn’t strong enough to resist, which most men won’t be, you say he’s not from God and blame ALL of it on him.

17. You skip past FRIENDSHIP. Every man you encounter, you’re interviewing as if he’s your husband. Just interview for friendship and nothing more. Don’t lay all of your cards on the table unless he has laid all of his on the table. Until then, just talk about the weather. Many women are hurting and discouraged unnecessarily because they take this premature failure personally. Every man you meet will NOT be the one.

Now Go to Your Destiny

In my 40 years of living, I’ve NEVER heard a man say, “I want to be in the worse relationship I can find.” Men want to be in solid, stable relationships with a “good” woman. They aren’t waiting on Beyonce’. They’re waiting on a woman who reminds them of their mother who doesn’t want to BE their mother. A bad attitude is the biggest complaint I hear in the locker rooms and barber shops. Whether a man be saved or unsaved, NO man wants an evil, mean broom riding wicked witch with a bad attitude. Some women are just plain mean! Women have tried to grill me before they accept my friendship on facebook. It truly ain’t that serious. We don’t owe you anything! Whatever has you pissed off – we know nothing about!

Well, in the words of Forrest Gump, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

If nothing else,!

Original and Exclusively written by:  Ed Rhino (c) 08/2009 | All Rights Reserved



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1 Comment

  1. Antoinette S.
    December 19, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    Ed, thank you for being candid…truth can be cleansing for the soul!